To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/06/12 14:26
Subject: [K-list] Re: Love ( Angelique)
From: meeradji
On 2000/06/12 14:26, meeradji posted thus to the K-list:
Hi Angelique,
you wrote:
<<It's a side effect of the work. I let them project thier inner Divine
Beloved onto me, and channel Her to do the session. Even the energy of
unknown men who wank at my advertising pix is redirected to Goddess, but
when I did that I didn't realize it would mean She would be what they saw..
so I have a few stalkers, one fella has been pursuing me since 1997 and no
amount of discouragement will make him go away. Fortunately, he doesn't
know where I live..>>
i tried and tried to explain to people what it is about, but they insisted on their personal story with me. I finally gave up and decided not to talk to them about it any more. I just loved them and that was it. I always knew it was never a love relationship on a partner level, but i kept my mouth shut, because on the one hand i didn't want to hurt them and they wouldn't have understood anyway. In my experience it's very difficult even from the level of unconditional love to pull somebody or lift somebody. For a while it looks like it will work, but as soon as i stopped carrying them they fell back and started fighting me, because they saw and felt they cannot stay on this level without my help. And i realized i cannot carry them along for a longer period of time.
Perhaps it was not good period to even try from my side, but i cannot NOT love and love lifts people up..... at least that's how i experienced it.
The only time i felt somebody got the kick and actually could use me or the love through me to come through the gate was my beloved penpal in Australia. She is a woman in her end fifties, widow, some spiritual background, but not something like years of practice and a heart of gold. She managed to throw all her images of what love is or cannot be overboard and and went with me on a trip to the land of unconditional love. I will never forget the day she wrote to me:" loving you is a gate to love the whole univers".She was able to use our personal relationship and experience this level of "being in love" . She found out that love is unpersonal or over- personal and has in the essence nothing to do with the person you are in love with. I was soooooo proud of her !!!!!! and i still am . The memory still brings tears in my eyes.
I never met her in person and probably never will. it doesn't matter.
love
mia
PS. thanks for commenting on my posting, Angelique..:-)
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