To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/06/11 03:54
Subject: [K-list] Love
From: meeradji
On 2000/06/11 03:54, meeradji posted thus to the K-list:
Hi everybody,
for me the biggest breakthrough ( at least for now) on the topic of love relationships was to realize that love is no feeling and has nothing to do with emotions but is a state of being. The English language by the way demonstrates it as well. you say: " BEING IN love" , you don't say: having love or something like that. A partner - and for me it doesn't matter whether it's an inside or outside one- helps me to reach this state of being. In a way the other person is the trigger. Since i was a young girl i had the "talent " to fall in love with everybody and everything and very often i fell into this state of love without any trigger at all. I was in love with love.......LOLOL
To this time i was so full of love that i had no idea what to do with it. Because i wanted to be "normal" i tried to direct it to my partner, but was told, it's too much , too intense, nobody can love like i can and so on...... i felt whatever partner can only take 10 % of my love , so what do i do with the other 90%? ROFL
When i just let it flow the people around me fell in love with me, because they misinterpreted my shining as being directed towards them......i just HATED this reaction and started closing myself up, because it was too embarrasing to always explain that my love is only love flowing and not meant personally.
Funnily i never had the problem to be in need of love or looking to get something. My problem with love always was that there was so much and i needed to give it to somebody.......LOLOL
and sure, i always found enough people who needed it.
since i'm more conscious with being in this "state of love" things changed alot.
I can be in this state of love with or without somebody. I don't need an outer OR inner lover to be in this state of love, but yes, i like to share love with people who are touching and triggering certain points in me. Perhaps that's a very unromantic view and probably it's difficult for people being in love with me, because they can feel i don't NEED them to be in love. I think that must be very hard.
Because " love" is not the point i need a partner for my longings are very different.
It is important for me to share my life with somebody who's energies are not constantly interfering with mine.....i had to adjust myself again and again into someobody's life during the last 20 years and in a way i'm tired of it. Relationship now for me means not having to explain why i'm irritated by tv running constantly( or radio), why i'm not going to the cinema, parties or whatever social events.
Happy relationship for me means being able to go through the day in harmony of energies. ( certainly not in all points and constantly, but in the main points and most of the day). I can LOVE a person who is totally different from me and i can adjust myself into his or her energies and it might look like a good relationship, but it's mainly my work that makes it work. That's what i did for the last 20 years and i feel my time working like this is over. I'm now in a relationship where all this adjusting business isn't necessary because my partner is very similar to me, also in Kundalini process, also psychic, also a healer and FINALLY i can concentrate on something else besides adjusting and feeding somebody.
Not that it was wrong or bad..... i learned a lot and i LOVE to give, but now i feel i have to concentrate on something else.
warmly
mia
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