To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/06/10 23:29
Subject: Re: [K-list] stifled
From: v
On 2000/06/10 23:29, v posted thus to the K-list:
> Could it be that your true beloved has manifested himself in this guy in
> real life?
Ah, gee...I dunno that either!
When you fantasize about him, how do his feelings towards you
> feel? You still feel those strong feelings towards him, even though they're
> unrequited, right?
Yes, when left unchecked, there is a great passion between us; a very
strong chemistry.
But, you see, I think there's a lesson to be learned here. Shouldn't
we be "just friends", first? If we were "just friends" he wouldn't be
acting in ways that I indubitably misconstrue & cause myself inner
turmoil, over him.
He hasn't done anything bad or wrong to hurt me; I'm doin it all to
myself! The worst thing he's done is to ignore me romantically. It's
what leftover scum in my heart needing purging, from the traumas of my
former existance, which are causing the hurt. The feelings he invokes in
me seem to trigger unresolved pain issues from similar feelings,
unawares.
Maybe try having a wonderful fantasy with the ideal
> real life guy sometime. It could be your inner self knocking, in a form he
> knows you'll be receptive to. Maybe this is a way to access him.
That would be nice. But now we are to the point of ignoring each
other. The only way he knows how I feel is because of the wonders of
email. It's been over 3 years. Besides, he recently emailed me (wonder
of wonders!). He wrote, "I am taken", although there's no real life
observations to back up that claim. Probably a cyber-thing; who knows?
But, at least, he did give me a very nice upright grand piano (no big
deal, it was "first come, first serve").
And here is where I am seeking more info on the "inner beloved". I
really don't know how to create one, or substantiate one, or realize in
what ways to interact with an "inner beloved". What am I missing???
:-)
v
DISCLAIMER!
Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe
K. List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.
symbol.