To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/06/08 01:36
Subject: Re: [K-list] Manifesting Life Beyond Sorrow
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2000/06/08 01:36, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 04:36 PM 6/5/00 -0400, Melissa P wrote:
>
>
>>From: v <madammumATnospamptialaska.net>
>
>>
>>I wish there could be a website where we could go to add power to our
>>prayers, to clarify our intentions, & make sense of our impetuses &
>>frustrations.
You are here.
>> When we are upon the spiritual path, how do we make sense of our
>>emotions? Are they triggers to a higher path? Should we take medication
>>to get through them? Or are they just chicken sh*t illusions because we
>>become needy of human validation?
Hmm.. Part of my asking for a poll on NDE's is because I have been
trying to figger out why they have such a hard time getting back into the
light after they return to their bodies. They seem to suffer from the
empathy more than people who become awakened in other ways, and have a
harder time finding their way back again.
Recently working with Freda I had a breakthrough of understanding of
what happens to them to create the barrier.
I mentioned in another post, that I percieve the ego as patterns and
structures of energy in the human body. For quite some time I have been
clear that what the shrinks called Multiple personalities 15 years ago is
nothing more than ego fragments picked up from other people because of
empathy, and repressed because they could not be released. However, since
she was in the forest, she could not grok my meaning.
She came and stayed with me for a month of peace and gardening, learning
to enjoy a silent mind as I gently released the fragments. She got to know,
who she really was, underneath all of them.. the Zen-silent mind with
Goddess looking out the eyes, simply being. Then she went home for a few
weeks to straighten out her life and got to understand the mechanism of how
the silence becomes noise. How she becomes people in reflection of their
expectations.. The learning is experiential. When she came back, I could
explain the Karma Vampire magnetism that creates identities in words she
could understand.
When I do an ego-death ritual, the most challenging part of it is the
aftercare, because newly reborn people are more impressionable than little
fresh hatched baby duckings. It requires utmost detachment not to leave
sticky fingerprints all over a freshly scrubbed brain, but instead to fade
into the background so the new identity can spring up, from within..
NDE people don't get that kind of aftercare, and they "go duckling" on
all the first impressions of whatever is around them when the return, plus
whatever issues brought them back. "Water finds it's own level" and they
pick up ego-fragments from other people like iron filings to a magnet
before they have had a chance to stabilize in their changed condition...
and they don't know to surender them, so the filings stick. It seems to
take most NDE's years to stabilize and adjust to their experience and how
they have changed.
I know you are an NDE, Val, and the duckling bits can be a bitch..
>> And so I must retain my position as a tortured flakey artist. I think
>>I shall never fall in love with anyone ever again...
>
>v - i'm going to defer to either Susan or Mystress A to hopefully flesh out
>this ...
>V..have you run into the concept of the Divine Beloved? (he isn't outside,
>he's inside of us)...
I dunno what to flesh out.. I have been talking about the Divine Beloved
to Valerie for years. She won't get it till she gets pissed off enough to
decide to stop falling in love externally, or as freaked out as you were,
Melissa.. mad or scared enough to make the leap and trust. Doesn't matter
how many times I express it or what words I use, or the fact that
connecting with the beloved is drop-dead easy, just like you, she isn't
gonna hear it till she is ready to hear it, and when the bell rings and it
all makes sense, seems to be related to where your desperation level is at.
Till you get desperate enough to actually try it. To invent your ideal man
in your head and treat him like he is a real person with feelings and
opinions. Do that, you will be talking to the Divine Beloved, but as long
as you make other stuff more important it will be.
Nobody can make that decision but her. Free Will is Goddess Law, there
is no magic key to provide insights to one who doesn't wanna hear it. She
is just about that pissed off, so she is closer to getting some insights
and there is nothing that needs to be fixed.
You have projected the Beloved outwards, Val, and your heart will mend
when you seek him inwards. The history of your realtionships with men is,
"If you do not go within, then you must go without".
Sorry if this sounds cranky, it really is just my own frustration.
Like you wrote, Melissa... you read me writing about it for years and
didn't pay any attention... until you were desperate. That has come up a
lot lately.. I do one-on-one work with people and they finally understand
what the heck I've been talking about all this time, which really wakes me
wonder if my communications are futile.
It is the futility of the Spiritual Teacher.. I can offer water to
horses but I cannot make them drink it till they are thirsty enough.. and
that train of thought gets to some wierd places about how making them
thirsty is doing them a favor.. ie: Hitler Armageddon Draconians tornados
and war.. and I look at it, and see the duality of tough love and gentle
love as a navigation system of all Roads lead to Rome, and it is the
individual who decides which one to take.
Then I give it up to Goddess and take a few days off from posting to
people who don't hear me when I speak... so I can get past the
Matryr/healer/expectations stuff and get balanced in writing because it's
fun instead of because of what "other people need".
I contemplate a passage from "Illusions, the adventures of a reluctant
Messiah"
http://www.domin8rex.com
Vancouver, B.C., Canada.
Officially the most beautiful city in the world.
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I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by mystery
than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it.
~ Harry Emerson Fosdick
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