To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/06/04 16:46
Subject: [K-list] Re: Safe?
From: Lynda
On 2000/06/04 16:46, Lynda posted thus to the K-list:
Dear Isadora
You ask-
> I would like to know how safe it is to raise kundalini? I have read a few
> things on the Internet that said that this is literally playing with fire,
> and you can damage your health seriously by doing so. I believe we read
> something on a magazine site by a guy who was damaged long-term by a
> sponteous kundalini awakening. What are your thoughts on this?
I have sat with this question and the first thought was - I don't know. The
next thought was - is anything safe? That may sound cold and unfeeling and
it feels to me like an inadequate answer. I know what safe means to me but I
don't know what safe means to you. I can only speak from my own experience,
which I will try to do.
When I was studying drama, I had a teacher who told me there were two types
of people in this world, yeasayers and naysayers. The yeasayers were
rewarded by the adventures they had and the naysayers were rewarded by the
security they acheived. Life seemed very simple to me then and the first
part of my life was a terrific rollercoaster type adventure looked at from
one point of view. Now part of me shakes her head and thinks - fools rush
in.
I saw myself primarily as a mother, and next as a performance artist (my
speciality was community celebrations and re-enactments of historical
events, sort of a bit like exploring roots and honouring ancestors but
mostly having fun)and did my best at both. When my children left home I
looked for a 'real' career, driven, I now suspect, by delusions of grandeur
and averice. I told myself I wanted to be of 'service to the community' and
sold my creative and people skills to local government. My career flourished
and soon I was earing oodles of money, buying land and living a very
comfortable life, gradually putting more and more of myself away. I stopped
singing, I stopped dancing, I stopped making music, I stopped writing plays,
I stopped directing plays ( except the ones that fitted the organisations
agenda - lol!) Something in me was dying and I didn't realise it. I was
drawn to the Community building thing ( be careful what you ask for :))and
sent for information and immediately binned it. My first reaction was oh no,
I can't go there, it was all too much 'I'll be Frank if you'll be Earnest'
and fairisle jumpers for me. Later they sent me some stuff about a workshop
at this place called Orthona and it was the place that called me, something
in me just had to go, perhaps I'd judged too hasty - oh all the
rationalisations - I just wanted ( desired?)to go stay in that place. My
experiences, both there and subsequently, turned my comfortable life upside
down. I acquired the lable 'psychotic' (read - lost all credibility in the
eyes of society) was 'sectioned' (read - lost my status as a member of
society) couldn't play the local government officer role any more so lost my
home and all the material comforts that went with it. And I nearly lost my
mind. I danced with terror and I sang with rage and it scared the living
shit out of me.
But in some way ( and words get a bit difficult here for me) I met myself
and I found love. And I still feel incredibly vulnerable.
I value my experiences, they were important to me, perhaps they are an
'indication' of something, but not much more. I know how easy it is to
delude myself.
I don't know if I have succeeded in answering your question, if you had
asked me three years ago I'd have probably said - slap a government health
warning on it! Now I can wear the 'Club Mad' t-shirt. It has been very hard
lesson for me, my job was to support marginalised people, people in need,
the socially excluded. Now people like I used to be, support me, and I am
learning to receive gracefully (I hope!) I've always been helped by people
who write songs and one by Sydney Carter is very dear to me.
By the hungry I wil feed you
By the poor I'll make you rich
By the broken I will mend you
Tell me which one is which?
I'm sure all this is not really answering your question, but it's the best I
can do at this present time.
With love
Lynda
There ae two kinds of truths. There are the superficial truths, the opposite
of which are obviously wrong. But there are also the profound truths, whose
opposites are equally right.
Neils Bohr.
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