To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/06/04 05:13
Subject: [K-list] male and occult ( Percyval)
From: meeradji
On 2000/06/04 05:13, meeradji posted thus to the K-list:
Hi percyval,
you wrote:
however, i am curious about your reaction to it feeling "male", and why this
creates such discomfort for you... you may be aware that their is a male
side within yourself... it can be blissful and healing to feel love for (and
loved by) your own maleness... i hope you can find your way to this
manifestation of self-love...
Mia, i may be off-base here... if so, please ignore my comment... it is just
a reaction that your post evoked in me...
lovingly,
percyval
oh, it's okay, don't worry about it Percyval. If i cannot take comments on a topic i better don't talk about it on a list.
Yes, i realized the connection i made and was wondering about it myself. Researching the hint you gave felt like that: i was a very wild child.... two brothers, a weak and sick mother who got on my nerves and needed my care all the time. I was her mother since i was around 5 or 6. As a child i didn't like girls or girlish behaviour. I climbed trees , was a robber's wife in my fantasies and mainly playing soccer with the boys. No girlfriend, no dolls, no nice clothes. Becoming a teenager i was an athletic champion, won lots of masterships.....so still the " male " attributes, astrologically "mars" orientation was quite strong. I looked very feminine and because of my poetry and music and long skirts i normally was put under the cliche of "elf" or "fairy" and with my intuition i obviously was a perfect image for the anima projections of men..... but..... then they were shocked when i knew everything about soccer or knew how deal with a car engine. I did alot of spiritual work in a very female way, but on the other hand i worked as a landscape gardener, a very hard and "male" job. Just yesterday we had to move a huge oak cabinet through the house ( one level bungalow) . The friends i live with are both elderly people and quite sick , so they are not able to do physical work. They thought, they have to get workers to do the job. My friend tried to move that thing just a little bit and couldn't even get it to move. She said , not in a million years we would be able to move it on our own. I thought: watch me! I connected to the male/mars energy and pushed the cabinet through the whole house on my own. LOLOL
so........ i think i'm quite connected to my male side.....perhaps i use the male side more on the material level and the female on the spiritual?
but why? and i' m scared of occult female energy too by the way. It feels different though....
what is it about occultism that feels so "wrong"? i 'm aware of my judgement here and i'm wondering about it myself. What is the energy of occultism? what makes it so "dark"? It feels to me as if divine energy is misused for ego purposes. For example Mark's "experiment": What part of my soul would be interested in "checking ones level" ? it can only be the ego........
hm..........
other thoughts on that?
love
mia
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