To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/05/28 08:55
Subject: [K-list] NDE
From: Divine Goddess
On 2000/05/28 08:55, Divine Goddess posted thus to the K-list:
I don't know if I ever had one but I have come close to dying a
couple of times.
I sat on a colony of fire ants when I was 12 living in Florida. I
went into shock, my body just one big itching welt from the allergic
reaction.My eyes swelled shut. My hands look like sausages. My ears
swelled so bad they stuck out from the side of my head like mouse
ears. If I had been maybe 5 minutes later being brought to the
hospital I would have been dead, I was told. They werent sure the
medication was going to help.
What I remember of the experience, thinking I was going to die, was
"Oh, is this all it is? What's the big fuss about?" Of course, my
airway didnt close completely, although it was hard to breathe, so I
never got to that suffocating feeling which would have been scary.
It did take away a lot of fear about dying.
Fast forward to when I was about 38 years old and I had kidney stones
so bad I *wanted* to die. It felt like someone had taken a rusty
jagged spear, heated it in fire, and then was slowly twisting it back
and forth inside my back. I was taking a major pain shot ever hour.
The doctor probably gave it to me because I was howling so loud like
a wounded animal that even with the door shut I was scaring the other
patients. (Nice way to get a private room :)I was screaming at the
nurses,as loudly as possible, using the most colorful languange, "I
dont give a flying f**k how much medication you have given me, it
ain't f***ing enough. Get that SOB you call a doctor and get me MORE!
NOW! #$#ATnospam&~!#~($($&ATnospam$ATnospam&%$
Even being medicated into oblivion it still hurt and I would only
get relief for about 30 minutes. I was starting to see crocodiles
wearing nurse's uniforms in my drug haze.
I remember praying for death so hard. Nothing...
So I decided to dive into the pain, embrace it, and there's nothing
like extreme pain to clear out a nice quiet place in your brain... a
piece of silence in the middle of all that agony. Nirvana even...cos
you finally know you are more than your body. The pain clears away
everything until there's nothing but pure Consciousness. It really is
standing in the center of a hurricane. Maybe that's what death does.
Diving into pain is like body surfing. Once you catch the wave you
can stay on top of it and be in the 'zone'. Step outside the zone and
your face gets scraped along the bottom of the shore.
So what I know from all this is death is not to be feared. I also
know that being in pain, no matter how severe, can be transmuted.
FWIW
Susan
------------------------------------------------------------------------
/4055/5/_/680797/_/959529324/
------------------------------------------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER!
Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe
K. List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.
symbol.