To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/05/28 03:54
Subject: [K-list] NDE
From: Meeradji
On 2000/05/28 03:54, Meeradji posted thus to the K-list:
Hello to everybody from a red glowing morning
my NDE happened while giving birth to my daughter, astrologically
saturn transit was going over my scorpio moon in the 5th, squaring
pluto and chiron, in opp. to my sun ( touched the grand square).
I had injured my pubic bone ( rupture) while pregnant, but wasn't
diagnosed. The haematoma at the injury point started wandering in my
body and caused a pulmonary embolism during the last part of giving
birth.
i was at home,not in hospital, because i felt i wanted to give my
child the chance to "leave" again and not being forced to stay by the
power of machines. They told me afterwards that giving birth through
an open fracture would be impossible because of the unbearable pain.
Well.... the pain and the embolism together sent me out into this
tunnel ( i had never read or heard about it before my experience) and
i raced towards this light. The pain was gone, it was silent, i was
happy and i just surrendered for a moment. Suddenly i realized: if i
go on and let myself be taken away, my child will die!!!!! I took all
my willpower and stopped the process. I remember saying: i cannot go
now, i have to go back. My child has to live." In this moment i "woke
up" again and being back in my body i had no clue what was going on
for a moment. Then i realized: ah yes, giving birth.....:-)
I was very sick for months and felt " guilty" about all that. The NDE
itself didn't impress me or changed me. It was no surprise, in a way
i "knew" dying is like that. I had to make a decision and i decided
against my desire and for the life of my child. Some years later in a
very intense experience i was brought back to the point where
i "left" ONENESS and had decided to go the path of separation and
take on a human body. I realized that up to then i had not accepted
my own decision and was still refusing to LIVE in this body. Only
then i learned to accept a human existence for myself, not only to
save my baby but to learn and to manifest Divine will in a human
existence. I'm not sure though whether i accepted my decision fully
just yet.....LOLOL
love
mia
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