To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/05/27 19:10
Subject: [K-list] Hi everyone,
From: Ken Alexander Solvang
On 2000/05/27 19:10, Ken Alexander Solvang posted thus to the K-list:
I am new on this list. I am a norwegian boy/man. I do believe I have
been going through a kundalini process that started already in the
early childhood -perhaps from birth. I always remembered coming from
a 'higher plane' but realized I had an amnesia/block put upon me
about how to use my consciousness fully. I could also see that most
people on Earth were almost completely closed from using their
highest potential, and it made me feel alone and alienated on this
limited earth plane.
Today I feel I have lost what people call 'ego'. It happened the hard
way. Now I don't have any ambitions or any feeling of importance and
I now only feel as an instrument of the divine highest power; ready
for use but not yet filled with the 'divine spirit of higher
purpose'. So I feel I have been broken down to *nothing*, and am an
observer of *everything*. But as things seem to be changing from
chaos to harmony, it is all ok. I can wait. I am patient.
I can't identify with my past and neither with my present self. Still
I can see that I in the past went through a process of completely
breaking down every element of my founation, or ego. This was
manifested through countless of encounters with psychopats from my
childhood and until I was in the middle of my teens. The other
element that was breaking me down, was a horrible disease I had from
childhood (created because of oversensitivity) that culminated a long
period from early 1997 to the end of 1999 and almost killed me. I had
insight enough when this was occuring, so I called it 'my death
process'. I lost everything (mundane) those years; Ideas, dreams,
position, ID, and hopes. I believe I lost what people refer to
as 'ego'. It was funny to read about the affection to nature a couple
of persons just wrote about on some posts on this list. The only
thing I still felt connected to was nature (plants, threes, rocks
etc), and I was and still am almost compulsively co-creating/
communicating with the nature through a lot of gardening and by
walking in the nature. Though I am not shy and easily deal with
people, I have now withdrawn from people. I don't know if this will
be continuing, or if I just need some time for myself.
Now this seems to change. It is like I the last few months am healing
from the disease. I wonder if this personal healing has started as I
learned to love to live as 'nothing' and to let go. Perhaps I never
would understand to perform healing on other people on all the levels
I do if it wasn't for the extreme oversensitivity I suffered in the
past. The last year it seems as I have learned to interpret energy
and to control it a way that makes me more sensitive on a positive
(felt) level.
If Kundalini exists as we hear about it, I guess it has happened to
me and I guess it is still adjusting. I haven't used any guru. From
my early teens I have been through these extreme spontaneous
telekinetic episodes. Because of the strenght of them, I guess we can
say I went through some poltergeist phenomenons as well. In 1993 I
consciously chose to open this door as an experiment, and I awakened
a higher consciosness, and tried out the telekinetic abilities on
something simple: A television. I had earlier noticed that electrical
devices so often reacted on me, so I reckoned that it wasn't a long
way from spontaneous influence to consciouly directed influence.
After a few hours with this opening, an entity (or perhaps several)
came and put me to sleep. Just like that. Two times that week I felt
a strong penetration in what people call the 'heart chakra' (first)
and the second time in the solar plexus 'chakra'. Unfortunately my
abilities again was burried inside me, so strange phenomenons again
only happened randomly or spontaneously.
My life has been filled with many other experiences of paranormal
or 'magick' kind. Telepathy, levitation, OBE's, psychic impressions,
visits from spirits and 'aliens' (what do they have to do with
kundalini?) etc.
About November 1995 one morning after I had awakened I suddenly felt
that somekind of energetic pressure wanted to 'get free' from inside
me. I let it happen, and it felt like my body was electrocuted. A
nice feeling actually. Very good and also sexual. After this first
time, I easily tuned myself into these 'trances' (as I call them)
about once or twice a week, and the trances seemed to opereate on a
lot of levels. I don't know if it has been a cleansing or/and a
tuning into kundalini energy. From that trance state, I have been
going out of body and into (mostly lower) astral spheres, or have
been visited by many different forms of entities. Discarnated humans,
other 'human spirits', 'aliens', 'gnomes' and even some few animals.
This was a tough period as it seemed a lot of low energy forms seeked
me up to steal energy from me. The last year my 'trances' have
decreased, and when they happen now, they seem much more positive.
Perhaps I am in a pause mode waiting for an upgrading of interation
with higher energetic forms? I don't know.
The only experience I went through in past which I feel a connection
or an identification to, is a 'mystic experience' or 'oneness
experience' as some people refer it as. (I refer to it as my 'coming-
home-for-a-short-visit-experience : ) This happened spontaneously
when I was 14 years old. It happened at very unglamorous
surroundings. I gradually (but rapidly) trancended my consciusness
until I was merged with 'a divine source' (if not the highest divine
source?) I could see every detail on planet earth, and got to see a
lot of other things from the small and to the large picture. I 're-
memebered' to be this very high divine source but at the same time I
was my 'earth ego self' and also all the selves inbetween. I got
evidences for this experience's reality as 'I' from a higher self
told myself on this lower level(this earth ego personality)to create
an evidence so I would understand that this wasn't a hallucination
(the 'evidence' was for when I would come 'back' to my limited Earth
consciousness again. I new on the higher plane that if I didn't get
evidence, this experience would gradually fade and I would think it
was an hallucination). So I got an evidence. A simple one, but
effective. What occupies my mind a lot about this is that in this
enlightened state, I got a kind of promise of getting permanently
back to that enlightened state when I reached a certain point in my
life. I felt it was around my 30's + -, but as I had to come to some
kind of level of development or something like that, it is hard to
know the exact age. But as I had a picture of how mature I was
physically and mentally, I think it was around the age of 30 + -. Now
I am 28, and as I suddenly feel that something definately is changing
to the positive direction in my life, I am beginning to wonder if
the 'promise' is still valid (yes, I have had my doubts about the
promise).
Ok, enough babbeling from me. You must be tired about reading my
introduction. Many words from a person that feels kinda eradicated
into a 'nothingness' or what?
I have read the posts of the last three days, and I really feel
comfortable about the friendly and relaxed communication you people
have with eachother.
Blessings,
Alex
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