To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/05/27 13:21
Subject: [K-list] More tears
From: sasse
On 2000/05/27 13:21, sasse posted thus to the K-list:
Dear list,
thanks to Mia, Lou, Paul and others for touching
tears... I certainly belong to the tear shedders.
Overflowing joy or bliss that rings right to me. Yes,
one experience became a poem of the kingdom of
overflowing clay pots... glimmering sides and desert
in blossom... I do not know - but it seems to me
that many of my holy tears have been somehow linked
with emotional healing process. Holy healing...
I have had some tearful experiences today (I have been
away for a couple of days and when I finally got to
the computer I thanked heaven for all the tear mails).
I had been up in the north to attend tests for an art
school. I am (at least I used to... at least most of
the time...until this strange energy upheavel started
about two years ago) quite a down to earth
capricornian (sorry, did not take part in the poll)
dentist. Almost fifty years within this body. So, a
lot of emotional and intellectual stress at the
moment. This morning I got home after spending the
night on the train and - just wanted to rest a bit
more and let energies run their course, balance
themselves or do their cleansing or whatever it is
that is happening.
Oh my God, this time the flowing energies were
acccompanied with colors. So beautiful colours... it
started with something I would like to call the shade
of heavenly red rose and then the violet... there was
yellow and green... I could not link the colors with
any chakra sensations... it was just enormous flow
upwards. I think it was during the downflow (they
alternate and sometimes run both ways at the same
time) when I started seeing paintings. As if "my"
undone paintings. It was a collection... Abstract
art. Have never seen anything like that. Wonderful.
And tears started to flow... and went on flowing.
Afterwards I tried to get on paper something that I
still saw in my mind. That was very very very
frustrating... Yes, I do need some school... Half of
my mind loves the idea of spending some years in the
north. But the other half loves the work I do. Am I
able to give up my practise and my home... In the
afternoon one patient brought me red roses and thanked
for all the years... he thought I had been able to
decide... and certainly tears ran. Quite a day. And
the timings.
My mind is in turmoil. There is so much involved.
Art might become the thing one day. The vison / the
paintings I saw. I am so confused. What was it?
Divine leading? Bubbles of creativity? A nice trap
of imagination? Ego theater? Hallucination? Am I
getting insane? The works were beautiful - even the
memory makes tears flow... This is awful. It fees as
if there is an earthquake happening, as if everything
is shaking around me. As if the only safe place were
in the middle of energies - at the moment I am not
centered enough. Torn in time, between past and
future. The present and peace is within reach but so
far away. Yeah, I go to bed and give all the mess to
God.
Love,
Sasse
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