To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/05/27 07:20
Subject: [K-list] oneness and separation (Catalin)
From: meeradji
On 2000/05/27 07:20, meeradji posted thus to the K-list:
Hi Catalin,
you wrote:
<<I might sound harsh but I don't want to be. I know
how being
"separated"
feels like.I think you want to find out new
"relationships" and new ways of
relating.
We need to "relate" to something, to "love"
something.
When you listen inside, something will tell you what
you are open to>>
thank you for trying to understand and find out
where i am in all this. Actually my "problem" isn't
feeling separated but being too much one with my
surroundings. Being in nature with feeling
everything around me was just fine and i was happy
like i am being one with the elements especially
water.( ocean). Growing up in a family of
psychotherapists i was diagnosed by my parents and
other professionals as having a severe lack of "ego"
structure.ROFL.... I never can distinguish whether
somebody around me is feeling something or whether
"i" am feeling that....
when i was around 18 a healer and psychic medium
told me my energy is constantly leaving through my
hands and i will never have the possibility to stop
or control that. The only way to recover would be
being in nature and on my own.
So being in nature for me is safe. Nature is not
taking and keeping like most people do, nature is
becoming one with me and i with nature and it's a
never-ending energy circle. Being in the city for me
means i'm forced ( because i have no way to change
it or protect me from it) to be one with traffic,
alarms, cars, electronics, violence, rudeness,
stress, frustration, despair, hopelessness,
cruelty...... most if it i wasn't confronted with
being surrounded by nature. I KNOW and i can feel
that all these things are part of life and whether
i'm in nature or not i'm part of it, but nature
seems to be like a protection around me, like Divine
manifestation caressing me in all that. I can just
flow and dissolve in it without getting hurt. I
cannot do that in the city. Floating and dissolving,
what i mainly do wherever i am hurts like hell,
exhausts me and challenges the nerve system of my
body to an extreme. I know you will tell me: build
some protection around you and connect to the Divine
essence.
But i was told from inside that building whatever is
not my path in this incarnation. My path is becoming
one with the Divine in everything and yes that
includes cities and traffic and stress and
madness...... it's a matter of recognizing Divine
love in electronics, traffic, shopping malls......
i had it easier in nature and now i have to apply
what i learned to a more difficult world.
i will.
takes time and all kind of tears
thanks for listening
love
mia
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