To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/05/22 15:12
Subject: Re: [K-list] Ego and Ben
From: Lesley Richardson
On 2000/05/22 15:12, Lesley Richardson posted thus to the K-list:
Hi Ben:
You remind me of many things about how I used to be
(sigh!). And since you are teaching us I guess I can
reply in kind although I won't tell you how old I am.
I found the principles below on a site that is hosted
by a woman called Linda Giorgio. I´ve found them
extremely useful and Angelique uses these constantly
and so does a wizard friend of mine. I´ve got the
principles and the Litany against Fear from Dune that
was posted by Angelique up on the wall of my office
and as I go through the day, every time I have a
hassle, I look at these writings. I also use the
grounding exercise to ground myself.
So why am I posting this. Because I´ve been reading
some of your posts and wondering if you are going to
bloody your nose as long as I did.
I lived in Ireland for 14 years, even went to school
there. Like you, I´m a product of an educational
system that educated me superbly but intellectually,
not emotionally. My emotional self I killed off by
degrees and left well-buried – in part in response to
the sheer misery of the life I lived, in part because
my almost complete empathy with other humans left me
living both my own misery and that of others from the
time I was very small.
Recovering that emotional self and learning to trust
my emotions, my gut instinct, has been a very hard
road, in part because I resisted feeling emotion so
fiercely, with all my will, all my mind, that I about
died in the process. I have my own little phrase for
that. “The harder they resist, the harder they fall.”
I screamed at the Cosmos as my emotions and all the
pain returned. I told the Universe I would rather die
than go through the pain I was in. I told the Universe
to go ……. Itself. I tried leaving the planet.
Obviously I´m still here, in large part because of the
work Angelique did to help me get through and past the
pain in which I was living. These days I´m resting and
recuperating and cleaning out the rest of the debris
in my energy field. Along the way, I´m mostly happy,
sometimes intensely so. I´ve gained a sense of peace
that I´ve wished for and needed and I´m slowly
learning how to just be, mindful of what is directly
in front of me.
There are times when my mind is a firestorm of
thoughts and wishes and unpeace. But those are much
briefer. I´m no longer empathic to the emotional and
physical pain that used to hammer me without warning.
That does not mean I am not doing the work assigned to
me. I do, but there´s a difference. I no longer live
in constant suffering, all of it self-inflicted.
I´ve dumped vats of fear out of my system thanks to
the help I got on this list. I have become a feeling,
sensing, body of energy. I sense energy and emotion
with the skin on my face, the insides of my nasal
passages, the warmth around my heart, the emotion in
my solar plexus and much more that I can barely
describe. It depends on what is going on. I move
between states of being that I cannot describe and see
things that are barely believable to me.
What I rarely do any more is think my way through
things. You cannot think your way into where you are
trying to go.
Many days now just flow through in no particular order
(of mine anyway) and yes, I do hold down a full-time
job and do a whole bunch of things besides (5 kids
etc.) In some ways, for someone as driven to plan the
next five, ten, twenty years of my life, to get all
those honors, to get perfect grades, to speak all
those languages, to master all that science, to
organize objects, coat hangers, drawers in perfect
order, as I have been, the difference is quite
unbelievable. Instead of cleaning like a driven
house-mouse, I´ve been sitting outside in the sun
painting landscapes. I´ve been playing, walking,
seeing, enjoying, resting, and finally, creating. But
for a long time, I was a small ermine bloodying my
nose repeatedly against the cage of this world and to
some extent, I see you doing the same.
There´s some very simple ways to go along this Path
and I rejected them all. Instead, I did it all the
hard way, not just once, but repeatedly. Might not be
done doing things the hard way yet, considering
things. So I have a certain empathy with what you are
experiencing here.
However, when you are jousting on this list, you are
jousting with the Cosmos, which is to say you are my
right hand and I am your left hand and we can either
give each other a high five as One or we can punch
each other. Right now it seems to be mostly punches,
and I wish that were otherwise for you. If you feel
like getting your nose less bloodied, everyone here
can give you the information needed to get out of the
cage. Angelique actually let me out of mine a couple
of times. Each time I promptly went back inside it for
a while. Now I feel that I´m out of the cage and won´t
go back in. We´ll see. Good luck with your escape, if
you choose to take it.
Here are the principles:
Seven Principles of Huna
Ike
The world is what you think it is.
You experience of the world is based on your
perception and interpretation.
Kala
There are no limits.
The universe is Infinite.
Consequently, you, being the center or consciousness
of the infinite universe, are also infinite.
Makia
Energy follows thought.
Energy flows where your attention goes.
Also, what you resist persists.
By focusing on something you don't like, you empower
it with more energy.
Manawa
Now is the moment of power.
To change something, imagine that what you desire is
already happening here and now
as real as you can, utilizing as many senses as you
can.
Aloha
To love is to be happy with.
When you truly love something it gives you a sense of
joy and happiness.
Mana
All power comes from within your spirit, mind, heart
and body.
There is nothing outside of you.
Pono
Effectiveness is the measure of truth.
If something works for you, then it is true for you.
Love, Lesley
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