To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/05/18 06:42
Subject: [K-list] brain and understanding
From: Meeradji
On 2000/05/18 06:42, Meeradji posted thus to the K-list:
Hi everybody,
trying to listen to you during the last days.... mainly since Ben
entered the stage....brought a subject back to my awareness that was
quite acute for a while:
since i was a young girl i had difficulties to follow abstract or purely
intellectual threads. My brain would click off and something in me would
start crying. It felt, like something in me got hurt or felt threatened.
As a student i tried to ignore it. I was very intelligent and my
teachers thought, i should have a brilliant future, a university career,
but most of the time i just couldn't overcome this pain. It was
especially intense if the subject was dealing with soul too, like poems.
I LOVED poetry, but because of that i just couldn't deal with it
academically. Purely abstract concepts my mind just wouldn't take. There
was this pain and everything looked like empty shells.
So i gave up on it and went to natural medical school instead. Two years
ago when my K- process became quite intense, i was sitting in front of
the computer reading mails ( mainly astrology, some spirituality) and
realized, as soon as somebody started talking abstract or(?)
intellectually, my brain just doesn't take it in. The pain is
gone....it's just..... it feels to me i'm reading from my heart or
-and-i'm reading more or less the energies and not the words and if i'm
not able to connect on a soul level, it is like Chinese or moon
language. I can sit in front of the screen and my eyes go over it but my
mind just doesn't take it in. the same by the way happens with nasty
posts. i was on several lists where people were flaming, arguing,
leaving the lists and i never got it. I always was quite surprised when
somebody left and tried to figure out what was going on before and
realized i always had deleted the mails with these kind of energies
without even consciously knowing about it. And even IF i had read the
mails something in me obviously went over the sentences without taking
them in. This all came up again trying to follow your discussions with
Ben. I don't think i read any of his letters....o yes, there was this
one sentence where he was emotional and wanted to leave ..... But it's
not selecting from a judging standpoint. it also doesn't take in Dan
Winters postings. I KNOW he has alot to say and to share, but my mind
just doesn't take it.
I know these phenomenons are K- related because the stronger K-energy is
working, the stronger this phenomenon becomes. On low days i sometimes
get a chance to follow abstract threads, on high days- like today- there
is no chance. Somebody else who can relate to this? I was quite
desperate about this topic for a long time, because it felt to me, i
havn't got a free choice. It's coming up again now also because i have
to study some computer programs, go through some books and there we go
again: words look like empty signs i never knew and i can sit in front
of a page and just can't connect to it.
Could somebody please write a book on DHTML or teach me how to use
Adobe Illustrator in soul language????? LOLOL
warmly
mia
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