To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/05/02 16:58
Subject: [K-list] experiences & questions about
From: paulo fonseca
On 2000/05/02 16:58, paulo fonseca posted thus to the K-list:
one day after sometime of holding my semen, when i started to feel
the energy in my body like something fisical, like a piece of food or
something in several parts of my body like blocks that were being
crushed like a massage when i holded my breath, and i insisted because
it felt so good crushing those blocks and felt good too to pump the
energy
from my perineo zone it felt like ejaculating but to my brain and
each time
that i holded my breath and pumped the perineo my head had a little
orgasmic
massage like i was making sex with my head or something and my eyes
wanted
to roll back to my head and it gave me pleasure rolling my eyes back
but i was
affraid that they jumped off the orbits and then
my head stated to become full of blood or something because my head
was
pumping like a heart and then my neck started to get heavy like
after a very
long and tiring days work and then i started to get the neck from
one side to
the other like when we want to clear the blockages and what started
like i was
in control became to be out of my control my neck was going from one
side to
the other without my will with extreme violence but i felt pleasure
like a crushing
massage in my neck that when it came to the end it felt like i had
break my neck but
no, it was very hot and clear it felt very light like i wasn´t in
one body and then my
head that was still pumping became to give so much pain and then
the pain and then
i laid down a little and the pain that was in all of the head passed
from the right to the
left and then appeared a voice in my head that said forgive and the
pain in the left side
of the brain reduced and then i heard that and saw that it worked
and started saying i
forgive you i,forgive you until the pain disapeared in just a few
seconds and then i started
thinking were was my level nowdo i have my chakras all opened at
this time i don´t know
because i lost interest in practicing yoga because of the things that
happened to me this
experience was a very long time after i received all nights like an
invisible light that made
me cry of joy and putted my chest in fire i was in the bed every
night without sleeping for
4 months and went working every day like nothing happened and before
this i had my first
sintoms that was stigmas in my feet one in each feet that dropped a
dop of blood and
disapeared and before that i had severe back problem i had to strtch
very violently my
legs and with my harms to straighten my back and after the blood in
the feet my body
seemed like the exorcist movie from one side to another without my
control and started
23:00 and ended at 5:00 it seemed like hell so much pain and
suffering . in the mid time
of this experiences in some of my meditation moments i felt fragances
very light beatiful
fragances like no perfume that smell in the nose but inside like i
smelled it with my lungs;
strange signs to the sun, mudras, and opening the mouth like sleeppy
(i don´t know the
word now) and burps very long and profound, like my stomach pushed
the air inside automaticaly
all this without my control and and in another period i seemed to
lost energy because every night i
eated a lot was strong and in the mornig i felt empty and weak like i
walked all night and felt drainned
in my solar plexus chakra i felt that chakra pumping energy but to
the outside...etc,etc.
can anybody tell in what stage i´m in?
and if after kundalini awakens and we loose interest in practicing
yoga or meditation are we still with openned chakras
i´m beggining to put some weight and i have to control my hunger
not
to eat too much is this anything
to do with throth chakra or tiroid problems?
i´m feeling the need to be alone but being alone only gives me
pleasure when and if i meditate or pray,
otherwise makes me lonely and detached from the world.
can anybody tell me if we meditate and pray every day doesn´t make
you feel in another world, not in
reality and if we have the mind to go to work and be "normal"
because i´m affraid to talk things that make
no sense and have ideias that don´t make sense in this world and
the
mind when we are absorved starts
thinking in a cosmological way and not in a immediate way like in
the "normal day reality" can we relate normally
if we start meditating for long hours?
after we awake when does the superconsciousness appear, how
omniscience is achieved?
if god or goddess control our will, then our will does´t matter
nor
is being satisfied?
why do some people cry and others laught after clearing blockages?
why and how do i get electrical shocks all the time everywhere mainly
in metal and one time with
my professor when we touched our arms a big electric shock ocurred it
made sound and all?
is that static electricity something to do with imbalance of chakras
or what?
i feel an enormous sexual urge without my will all the time and the
blood rushes to my pennis
making a hard on that hurts not in a normal way, how can i stop it
without having sex and is this a root chakra imbalance?
i was vegetarian but now i eat too much meat, does this make
imbalanced chakras and what can i eat instead
that makes my stomach so satisfied like meat?
i feel that if i don´t eat at all my liver produces bilis and
makes
my mouth with water and pushes my body to
eat making my "jejum" (day without food) very dificult, how can i
gain energy not to eat because i feel very
strong spiritualy when i don´t eat and only do pranaymas?
........waiting for some turn in my life......
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