To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/04/19 14:08
Subject: Re: [K-list] Madness poll
From: Jasper B
On 2000/04/19 14:08, Jasper B posted thus to the K-list:
druoutATnospamaol.com wrote:
>
> Questions:
Hi Hillary and others,
Very sensitive how you to pick up on the moods of the list and create
the appropiate poll for it!
In answer to your poll:
>
> How many of us have feared we were going mad. What symptoms caused
this fear?
Since my re-awakening about 5 years ago, i had several periods where i
thought i was going mad. Which all had to do with releasing repressed
trauma from my early youth. The symptoms were feeling terrified, knowing
something i about to happen with me in all various ways, killer rage
etc.
> How many of us have been diagnosed with some form of mental illness?
What form?
Actually it was I who thought of myself being crazy, having read many
psychology books. So i condemned (and sometimes still do) myself for
being weird. My background is mathematics, so this narrowed my worldview
very much and did not leave room for any psychic stuff. The hardest time
was letting this view go and accepting i did not fit in. After my
graduation and phd, i was guided to do a study in Gestalt therapy and
this helped me so well. Not only did i slowly feel loved and accepted
there (something i had not felt ever before), i was seeing another
world. By learning Gestalt i started knowing/accepting myself and
practising on me and on others showed me what i really loved to do. It
helped me work through things that came up and a couple of times i used
regression therapy or the help of Mystress.
Although Gestalt does not officially know of K, it does accept and
acknowledge the effects it had on me. I hear some people say, don't go
to psychiatrists coz they don't acknowledge what you feel and numb you.
I agree they exist and it scares me if i ever am being hospitalized by
them and have to fight like Daniel tells. On the other hand, i feel very
fortunate to have met Gestalt, the very opposite: a very loving and also
honest confronting way of therapy with a lot of very healthy
fundamentels and very earth-ed.
This all showed me how i want to go further; integrating K with Gestalt,
bodyrituals, tantra etc. So maybe i'm mad yes ;)
Jasper
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