To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/04/18 08:51
Subject: [K-list] Madness poll
From: Beastie159
On 2000/04/18 08:51, Beastie159 posted thus to the K-list:
As far as the Madness poll goes, I found that what druoutATnospamaol.com (Hillary?)
wrote really resonated with me:
"The first questioning of my sanity for me was after initial experiences of
altered states - what was real, the "normal" state or the altered state, why
didn't others experience stuff I did, etc. etc...
After kundalini awoke for real and the subtle energy system seemed to
somehow close down as a protective measure, was when I really developed
symptoms that could be qualified as pathological. There was an oppressive
sense of doom and alienation coupled with absolute depression and a total
inability to concentrate on reading for example. Really horrible that... For
me one of the worst aspects was to sense that something was very wrong
but not finding anybody (I consulted doctors, psychologists and
psychiatrists) willing and able to diagnose and offer constructive help.
Drugs didn't work and it really became a question of accepting the situation,
gritting my teeth and being determined to somehow see myself through the
whole mess I was in or, alternatively throw myself in front of a train. But
there was no question about it there was something definitely very out of
balance, a tentative diagnosis was that of acute psychotic depression, but it
didn't really fit the standard clinical description of that state."
I've never been hospitalized, although at times I wished that I could "check
in" (to a hospital) and "check out" (of the daily life that "sane" people
call reality). My feeling was that I was expected to live a "normal" life,
but trying to squeeze into a tight box of limitations gave me even more
anxiety- and this was too distressing to my fragile condition, so I figured
that I might as well be admitted and spare myself the grief of attempting to
live a "normal" daily existence
......b
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