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To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/03/26 14:51
Subject: [K-list] 5 years
From: Mario Floryn

On 2000/03/26 14:51, Mario Floryn posted thus to the K-list:

From: Mario Floryn <Mario.FlorynATnospamrug.ac.be>

Hi there,

I have been waiting and reading stories before i wanted to put mine on the list.
I am 29. In 1994 I joined a shamanic ceremony on one of the central power points
in western europe. The man who lead the ceremony spoke about an egg which was
'implanted' in all of us (the 25 people at the ceremony). Some time later, I'm
beginning to get serieus death thoughts (no suicide thought however because
death always fascinated me even as a litlle child). It was more like I was dying
on a mental and emotional level. Then one night I woke up sweating and saw a big
flash of light which frightened me a lot. Since then things got worse. Duriing
periods of 6 months with a 6 months interval of 'nothing happening' I got up
with the feeling I was about to die on the spot and went to bed with the same
feeling. This all combined with psychosomatic pain etc etc. To make a long sory
short : during the last 5 years I haven't had a day without thinking something
or feeling something related to that experience. My suffering has decreased due
to tai chi and qiqong, but I know that this was more than just some light
flashing in my bed room. I think it was a calling, a reaching out, but my fear
(as recently read on this newsletter) got me crazy. I wanted to share this with
you all and I wonder what you all think about this. I must confess that lately
(last year) my empathic abilities have increased and the feeling of love is the
only thing that keeps me upright. When I walk into a 'bad' or negative
atmosphere (mostly with people) I'm starting to feel sick. Music has a positive
effect on me (at least SOME music:-)) and being in nature. I believe that it was
due to a lack of guidance that I had to suffer too hard for too many years.
Instead of feeling love and life, I felt death and fear. Please feel free to
comment.

Greertings.

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