To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/01/29 13:32
Subject: [K-list] S.B. etc
From: Con Amore
On 2000/01/29 13:32, Con Amore posted thus to the K-list:
From: Con Amore <metavibATnospamyahoo.com>
Dear list,
I have found the mails relating to Sai Baba
stimulating to my way of processing things. It came
to my mind that perhaps S.B. was a victim of his own
critical thinking of natural sexual flow. I know
nothing about his teachings about sexuality, so this
is just a guess. I suppose it is an old yoga teaching
(Patanjali) to be indifferent towards evil. And it is
something that has bothered me for over twenty years.
According to my understanding the basic idea is that
if you resist something you may bacome a mental slave
of the very thing. There are two stories I want to
share in this connection.
I had a fairly good childhood but I got spanked once.
I was beaten by the very person that was the source of
love, food and security in my life. I did not
understand the reason - just experienced the furious
behaviour of my mother. When I grew up I was strongly
against physical punishment in all forms. Later in
life I got divorced and after taking care of our son
for some years I agreed to give him the possibility to
live in his father's new family with other children.
It happened once that I was told that the son and the
other children had been pulled by hair (English is not
my mother tongue!) because of some misbehaviour. Oh
my God, I got furious - so much so, that I might have
been able to kill the person if she had been at
present. My own reaction was indeed a shock to
myself. At the moment I see it as a sum of my own
unhealed / suppressed emotions. Our son is an adult
now and he sees nothing wrong in their punishment.
At the time of my divorce (over 20 years ago) I got
interested in yoga. I had hardly started when there
was a blissful experience that changed my life. I had
considered myself as an atheist and now there was the
mystery of having the heaven within as Jesus had said.
My mother had mentioned something about my new
interests to my grandma. My grandma was a member of a
minority Christian sect and even though she had never
seemed to like me I got in favour... Surely I
disliked her. Had heard so many stories how she had
regularly beaten all her kids in the name of God and
discipline. Most of her children had become fiery
atheists - like my mom. Anyway, we were visiting her
during Christmas, she felt tired and wanted to have
some rest - and to talk with me. It turned out she
was in a deep pain because she believed that her
children might go to hell because she had not loved
them in the right way. She cried and asked me to pray
for her... Well, I did my best and she said amen or
halleluja every now and then - and asked me to go
on... In the name of Jesus. It was so absurd and
paradoxal and impossible. And ended up in feelings of
peace. Yeah, it seems to be the very technique for my
inner leading to give love lessons. (Perhaps I am
very stubborn because they still seem to go on and
on...) Does this sound familiar to others on the
list?
Love, Sasse
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