To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/01/19 11:45
Subject: [K-list] K and depression / fear
From: fire ceremony
On 2000/01/19 11:45, fire ceremony posted thus to the K-list:
From: "fire ceremony" <mumblecatATnospamangelfire.com>
>Message: 9
> Date: Tue, 18 Jan 2000 18:22:29 -0800
> From: "Wim Borsboom" <aurasphereATnospamhome.com>
>Subject: Karate
>
Kundalini and depression go hand in
>hand, Kundalini energy at some point 'curing' or 'overcoming' depressed
>states of being.
Yeah, my experience is that it can
"blast" through depressive states and
anxiety states, but also as you say
bring on new ones
as part of the toll on the transmitters...
>A serotonin and
>norepinephrine recoil mechanism has started >off
Yeah, that was what I was experiencing
when K hit the brain stem, the fear
circuits went into overdrive, I could
feel the brain stem neurons being way
too active.
Same thing happened on Sat.
K hit the pituitary and hypothalamus and at
first it was great, a revelation.
But then there was a crash and a bad imbalance
of moods and energies began.
I can feel the energy working and know that
fear as well as bliss is only stimulation of
the nerves, but it didn't help when feeling
the mindbody was in immediate danger of
annihilation, that everything had to go,
that the soul (which individual
soul ?) was damned to
hell etc etc.
"Objectively", there is nothing to complain
about, everything is fine, friends, family
and work is going well, yet,
the subjective experience is one of abrasive
exhilaration, manic bursts of activity
which doesn't last long since the body
is incapable of supporting this for long,
interspersed with semi-detached torpor,
violent fantasies and dull depressive
disinterest, in general,
a feeling being slowly roasted
over open fire.
The body feels like air at times,
vibrating in tune with the primordial sound
AUM, and then there is the confusion of
bliss or pain.
I take this to be an increased amount of
energy that the mindbody needs to be adjusted
to. "I"'ll dig in and stick it out.
>I am fully aware that when K takes over, one often goes way further
>with one's SELF realization and actualization than what the 'normal world'
>seems to be built for.
Absolutely.
I have been considering the normal standards
for sanity and insanity, illness and
non-illness and right now, it seems that
Kundalini transcends
these small and narrow phenomena.
What is illness really, what is insanity ?
When K goes far enough, "insanity" seems like
a very small word, something almost mundane.
The void cannot be limited by such things.
Yes, the void may be seen as a precipice of
madness, but as long as one is a witness,
one can hover above it for a good long
while.
In insanity and serotonin imbalance,
Best regards,
Amanda.
Oh, by the way, the Ajna chakra is the seat
of the ego in higher functions.
The ego really is a problem.
Also, I have a nice tantric sexual exercise
to awaken, direct or increase K which I
wanted to
share with you if anyone's interested and
I can manage to rouse the mind turtle
out of its shell again.
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