To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/01/14 07:19
Subject: Re: [K-list] Re kundalini,is it this, chakras,mudrasetc
From: Jenell
On 2000/01/14 07:19, Jenell posted thus to the K-list:
Marion Hanvey wrote:
>
> Dear Jenell,
>
> Just means you were born psychic Jenell. Everybody's potentially psychic,
> but it's like being able to sing, some can just naturally do it better.
> (I have a terrible voice) The incident when you were a baby may have
> kick-started it, but my guess is that you were born a natural psychic.
> Can you remember anything of psychic significance before your accident
> as a baby?
(J) Well, sort of, at least I THINK so. Consider that the drwoning
incident occurred when I was only 1 1/2 yrs old. But I had always had a
strange memory that I had been unable to 'place', as to when/where it
was. It didn't seem to have much significance, just a fragment of a
memory. But some things coming together makes me think it was more than
that. in it, I was laying on my back, looking up at a blue sky, clouds
drifting by, through the eaves of a tree with large leaves, that I could
remember well enough to recongize them as being Cottonwood or sycamore.
I had a sense of there being some kind of a low white wall surrounding
me, I could only see that wall beside me when I turned my head sideways,
could just look upward, into the leaves of the tree, and at the sky. I
had a sense of being very relaxed and contented. Then, there were
impressions of a great deal of pain, burning pain, through out my chest
and throat, and being unable to breath, feeling suffocated, panic, and
then, I could remember no more about it.
Then, a few years ago, I learned of an incident that others told me of,
that happened when I was only about 6 mos old, that many elements seem
to 'fit'. I had been placed under the shade of a tree, in a bassinet,
one of those old fashioned white wicker ones. It was a hot day, so I was
wearing only a diaper, no shirt. My Motherhad heard me screaming, came
over to find that a little worm called a 'wood asp' had fallen out of
the tree onto me. This is a little worm that looks like it's covered
with soft, woolly fuzz, but that fuzz is actually many tiny poison
tipped spines. It had landed on my chest, I had of course in my
thrashing, been stung in many places, it had rolled down beside my neck,
etc. I had an allergic reaction, had to be taken to a hospital
emergency, where I had been treated, including having to be given
oxygen, becasue the reaction, redness and swelling, was occuring inside
my body as well as outside, in my lungs. I had a later encounter with
one of these things when I was in the fifth grade, and even that one,
that touched me in only one place, made me very ill.
Now, more recently, while in a deep rayer state in a church, I had a
'vision', of the one I recongze as my guide, and consider to be Jesus,
standing above and in front of me, and I was not only seeing him, but
experiening soething of an emotional interchange with him, though there
were no words, He was smiled down at me, almost laughing, as if
something was amusing, I found myself responding back, almost laughing
out loud, just a wonderful, precious moment of sharing love between us.
As I was leaving the church, there was a baby, 6 mos old, that I
stopped to lean over and interact with, I bent over him, we were doing
the usual smiling and laughing at each other, until his mother had to
get him to leave. I learned her name is 'Mercy'. As I straightened up,
you know how sometimes when you do that to fast, your head gets kind of
swimmy for a minute? It did that, but also, had another brief 'flash' of
that I had been expereincing a few minutes earlier, of him looking down
on me, like that, and realized that the way He had been looking at me,
and we had been interactng, was just like I had been doing with the
baby. And without knowing quite why, i suddenly 'knew' that the earlier
'vision' had been a memory of him doing that, and that it had been when
I had been, like this baby, a baby myself, and as I wondered on that,
driving home, I began to see quite clearly in my mind, Him being over me
like that during that incident. That this baby's Mother was 'Mercy', by
the way, is significant, for that is part of the 'name' He has given me
by spirit, 'told' me is mine. That name is 'Daughter of Light, child
born of Mercy'.
The stepping aside mentally and someone else taking over is a
> mediumistic ability. Did it feel like this person was inside your head sort
> of sharing your mind-space with you?
Yes. thisnhas become a common experince for me. I feel that way a lot.
that there is 'someone else' 'with' me.
If so, it sounds like you were
> overshadowed, in an altered state of consciousness, and halfway to trance,
> which is physical mediumship. It doesn't mean possession, nobody can be
> possessed, it just means this person blended their energy body with your
> energy body very closely.
Yes, I know what you mean. Yes, that is as it is, it feels like a
'companionship', is the best way to put it. Once only occasionally, now
pretty much all the time, I feel 'aware' of that 'toher presence'. He
doesn't 'take control' of me, 'make' me do anything against my will,
He's just there, a comfortable companion, I can ask advice, He answers,
I can turn myself over to Him to varying degrees as situations warrant
it, for him to 'walk me through', etc.
.
> As to the unsuitable men, your knowing they were wrong for you, was your
> intuition, your psychic ability again, and you ignoring it, was you ignoring
> your natural ability. I bet while you were saying "yes
> yes", something inside was screaming "no no"!
Very much so. and yet, it would be as if i was being 'overwhelmed',
compelled, to go against my own thought, my own will. I realize now that
this was, and is still a danger to me, through my empathy/telepathy. It
was THEIR strong will, feelings, desires, actually working on me,
psychically. I have been having to learn to recognize that and handle
it, now I'm consciously aware of it. I first realized this, became aware
of it, shortly after my opening, I was having some real problems with a
man i was in casual but regular contact with, being out of linem, not by
making advances, but being pucshy, trying to be manipulative,
controlling, over me. Turned out he had consciously realized he seemed
to have some kind of 'control' over me, supernatural control, that he
thought was HIS 'power', that god had given him 'power' over me for some
reason. he had learend that by using mental imaging during the time I
would be getting dressed to come to church where he would see me, he
could visualize me wearing one of the different outfits he'd seen me
wear before, visualize me wearing those he liked best, and sure enough,
when i got there, I'd be wearing that. I realized how I had been feleing
'guided' in choosing my clothes, and that it had been him influencing
me. that scared the bejabbers out of me, because if he could be doing
that, what else could he, or others do to influence me without my even
knowing it? That was when I first started realizing this, and now have
to be conscious of it at all times when I feel any kind of emotional
interaction with others. I am literaly vulnerable to 'mind control' by
others that have strong feelings about influencing me, my will.
> I don't believe everybody is born with mediumistic abilities, that's beyond
> just psychic.
I've wondered about that. It's a complex thing, at first i thought it
was all the same thing, bt now realize the mediumship is separate and
different. I am far more 'mediumistic' than 'psychic', actually. Most of
my 'psychic' things are actually given to me through medium
communications.
> Your receiving inspirational writing etc. is mental mediumship, which is not
> so personally startling to the person on the receiving end of it.
That was odd to even me, that it just seemed so natural, so ordinary,
while I was in a sense of wonderment at it, it never struck me as
startling, or frighten me. Even more recently, being 'aware' of 'other
entities', some of them not nice ones, and communications from dead
people, while it surprised me, I have been amazed at myself for that it
has just felt natural, not strange or odd at all. One thing from the
start, though, that seems different in me than what i read/hear from
otyer mediums, is that I have felt, do feel, and it's just how I
respond, that I do not INITIATE or seek to initiate contact with any
entity, spiritual being, except my own 'guide'. The contacts with
deceased have come spontaenously, have all been polite and pleasant,
usually some minor request to convey to their loved ones, a symbolic act
to do that their loved ones will recongize is from them, etc. I
sensethat as long as i dont try to initiate the contacts, I'm leaning it
to my guide on that side to 'screen' 'who' gets through to me. And that
if i were to try to initiate contacts myself, i'd be subjecting myself
to risk of encounting those i would rather not, to unpleasant, even
dangerous contacts. This is an aspect of this that I'm sharing here,
but few around me know of it, the contacts from the dead, becasue so
many would want me to try to contact someone of theirs, and don't
understand why I won't attempt to do that. It is, for me, a very minor
part of my mediumship abilities and interactions. Most are will my
spirit guide, and/or a couple of others that i consider 'part time'
guides that He has now introduced to me. they are there for specific
situations. Specialists, you might say. One, I love him, he's never
anything but kind and caring of me, is a fearsome one toward any that
would hurt me or endanger me.
There's a
> more detatched feeling to it, isn't there?
sort of. Like sort of being partly here, partly there?
> So it sounds like k was running from birth, but you repressed it in your
> early years.
> Being very sensitive to others emotions and thoughts is a psychic ability,
> the downside is it's not always very comfortable.
that's an understatement. It's m greatest burden, the 'empathy' of
others' feelings, physical and emotional.
You cannot be hard and be
> psychic.
amen!
> thanks. you, know, after so many years unable to even mention things like this to anyone, it is good just to be able to talk about them, share them, with others that don't think it's weird or evil or mental illness!
Love, Jenell
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