To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/01/12 21:26
Subject: Re: [K-list] Really wondering
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 2000/01/12 21:26, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 09:16 PM 1/12/00 -0600, Jenell wrote:
>Mystress Angelique Serpent wrote:
>How odd and coincidental. I have been feeling absolutely AWFUL lately,
>the past few days, I do know it's ot a physical illness', it feels like
>something I'm picking up therough my psychic empathy,
Yep, at first I thought I was picking it up from someone else too.. went
into Victim for a bit, got over it again.
It's flu, but in Kundalites it seems to be an evolutionary sickness..
> While no fever that registeres, my whole body feels
>so hot and burning, my thought of it is as if my tissues are just
>ripping themselves apart inside, I mean at tissue, cell, level.
Yes, waves of heat and then these wierd neck chills..
> And the sweat, yuch, not that it has been that much of it, not dripping
>or anything, just sticky all over, and the smell is AWFUL, really strong
>and unpleasant.
Yes, there is huge cleansing going on... I am wanting a hot bath but
concerned that I'll pass out in the tub..
> and I am
>> unable to eat..
>
>I'm having a bad time of lack of appetite lately, trying to remeber to,
>and make myself, eat as I know I need to.
Well, I tried to eat for a few days but then gave up trying and felt
better. Someone suggested I'm spontaneously becoming breatharian... wot?
> my desire to smoke has flown out the window...
>
>I wish. but no such luck.
Careful what you wish for.. ;)
>I think i got past insanity, but the impact of other's reactions to me
>for these changes, the outright hostility and resnetments and thinking
>I'm evil, really ugly emotions toward me, have really been heavy on me
>lately.
Sigh, ditto.. this was sparked last Friday by a flame from an
ex-friend I edited from my life more than 4 years ago.. and yesterday
another friend raised her voice to me and I rolled up in a ball and started
crying... I am feeling very fragile. Not my usual "bulletproof" self, at
all..
> Just leave this bosdy laying there and let
>myself slide over the edge, into that other realm, and I realized with a
>start that what I was thinking of was to die, just let myself, actually
>choose to, let myself slip out of my body and leave it. That I could
>just chose to die, and that it was seeming a very attractive thing right
>then, i felt so very tired, so very much in pain,..
Well, after reading Magne-Ana's post about crucifixion... I took a nap
and my mind wandered into a lucid dreaming space where the duality of my
male sides chopped off my head.. for the second time since september.. An
act of mercy as Goddess wills, to end suffering. I wept but I went with it
because I recognised an ego-death metaphor.. and afterwards I was in the
Witness state.
My neck is not quite so stiff anymore.. :)
I think it is probably safe to follow your dreams to the other side..
heck, I got maried to Hades and I've had my head chopped off twice since in
lucid daydream, and I'm still here.
Your body will make sure your heart keeps beating till you come back to
it.. or perhaps you won't come back to it, you will stay in the light and
your Higher Self will come in, instead to be the new you, free from fear.
The body has a mind of it's own, and it is wiser than ego.
>Does the 'processing' never end?!
Sure wish I knew.. I thought I was done but the 1000 petaled lotus
continues to open infinitely.
> and inner voice says "Thou art Goddess". and I go, uhhh.. but but
>> but....... eek. :o
>
>i think you are being asked to move toward making his/her will to be
>your will, and your will to be his/her will. I've been dealing with that
>one, too.
Well, the Viel of separation that is the Portal Guardian shadow-self
is Death... and he wielded the sword but my body did not die. Did the
perception of separation between my Will and Divine will die? I'm not sure.
However, my perceptions since are .. altered. The walls are glowing.
>> Blessings..
>> and Blessings to you, Sister,
>Jenell
:) Blessed be! Thank Goddess for the comfort of shared experience..
Mystress Angelique Serpent, http://www.domin8rex.com
Vancouver, B.C., Canada. Officially the most beautiful city in the world.
8) :D ;) :0 :) ;P ;) :D |* ;) 8D :)
<<<< I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by mystery
<<<< than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it.
<<<< -- Harry Emerson Fosdick
Unsubscribe from this list by sending email to:
kundalini-unsubscribeATnospamtopica.com
_____________________________
Check out the new and improved Topica site!
http://www.topica.com/t/13
DISCLAIMER!
Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe
K. List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.
symbol.