To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/01/12 18:58
Subject: Re: [K-list] Really wondering
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent

At 05:04 PM 1/12/00 -0800, Christopher Wynter wrote:
>Does the reply I just posed on list
>help explain some of what you ask ..
>
>I would be happy to answer this on list .. but
>specific answers could be quite lengthy because of the complexity of the
>very valid questions you ask ...
 Go for it!!

>In my opinion, Kundalini 'worship'
>has almost become a religion ..
>rather than the individual expression of the manifestation
>of the truth of who you really are ..

Since last Friday I have been getting wild and whacked out symptoms..
flu symptoms with an emotional quality, feverish and chills, and I am
unable to eat.. my desire to smoke has flown out the window... I've been
meditating and staying very mindful because it has been a rather harrowing
process.. focusing on love and surrender to distract from the fears of
insanity. Now that I have figgered out that some of the emotional chaos is
smoking withdrawl, which I have read can be nightmarish.. it is a little
easier to take. Ego likes to have a reason to hold onto..

One effect of this current processing is that Goddess has made it very
clear to me that my "slave to Goddess" surrender is no longer wanted.. it's
purpose in releasing issues has been fulfilled and now I am being pushed to
a paradigm of co-creation that I have been resistant to for over a year..
  For about a year or more, sometimes I say, "it will be as Goddess Wills"
and inner voice says "Thou art Goddess". and I go, uhhh.. but but
but....... eek. :o

   Goddess asking me what I want, for me to make a choice.. make a
decision.. I've been going, "yikes how should I know Yer the infinitely
wise one ... wanting creates wanting, right?"
   I've been resistant, so now I'm trying not to be.. but I'm wary of "Good
intentions" ..
   Takes some getting used to.. like learning to walk over again... falling
down a lot..
  Ironic coz I've been trying to get my slave-devotees to worship me less,
and Goddess within themselves more, so they will not be quite so
emotionally dependent on my approval.. Guess I teach best what I most need
to learn, again..:) So it goes..:)
 Blessings..

 Mystress Angelique Serpent, http://www.domin8rex.com
  Vancouver, B.C., Canada. Officially the most beautiful city in the world.
8) :D ;) :0 :) ;P ;) :D |* ;) 8D :)
 <<<< I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by mystery
 <<<< than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it.
 <<<< -- Harry Emerson Fosdick

Unsubscribe from this list by sending email to:
kundalini-unsubscribeATnospamtopica.com

_____________________________
Check out the new and improved Topica site!
http://www.topica.com/t/13

DISCLAIMER!

---

Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe

K.  List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and  Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.

Feel free to submit any questions you might have about what you read here to the Kundalini mailing list moderators, and/or the author (if given). Specify if you would like your message forwarded to the list. Please subscribe to the K-list so you can read the responses.

All email addresses on this site have been spam proofed by the addition of ATnospam in place of the symbol.

All posts publicly archived with the permission of the people involved. Reproduction for anything other than personal use is prohibited by international copyright law. ©

This precious archive of experiential wisdom is made available thanks to sponsorship from Fire-Serpent.org.

URL: http://www.kundalini-gateway.org/klist/k2000/k20a00177.html