To: K-list
Recieved: 2000/01/09 21:31
Subject: RE: [K-list] New Year's Poll
From: Hudson N. Jackson II
On 2000/01/09 21:31, Hudson N. Jackson II posted thus to the K-list:
-----Original Message-----
From: kundaliniATnospamtopica.com <kundaliniATnospamtopica.com>
To: kundaliniATnospamtopica.com <kundaliniATnospamtopica.com>
Date: Monday, January 3, 2000 9:11 AM
Subject: Digest for kundaliniATnospamtopica.com, issue 12
>Dear List,
>
>How many of us feel that "love" had a part in their *awakening*. I
leave the
>term vague on purpose. I thought it would be interesting to see the
variety
>of ways in which love is defined and experienced in conjuction with K.
>
>Yes and No answers are equally welcome, though. And as always, be free
to
>answer on or off list.
Hopefully, it's not too late to say Happy New Year and participate in
this poll. My computer is now cooperating and can now log on without
any problems (it was an issue regarding upgrading software to connect to
my ISP, and not the Y2K problem itself).
Ahem. Anyways, I never had seen "love" play any role in my awakening at
all. In fact, no emotions were involved in it at all.
However, it has been working its way into my life recently, and it's
definitely tied to kundalini. I can feel signs of that more and more
during the day, although at night I can sometimes sense it.
At night, I quite often squeeze my pillow while either thinking of one
friend who I'm interested in courting or the Virgin Mary. It depends on
the situation and the mood I'm in. Last night, I think, I was hearing -
or maybe imagining - the sounds of some angry person in the background,
someone might have been upset with me. Of course, you know who I was
thinking about there. And after a few minutes, I felt a lot comfort and
stuff, the sounds stopped, and I fell asleep afterwards.
During the day, however, it's a different story. I can't seem to stop
thinking about this one friend of mine, and accompanying that most of
the time is a similar feeling of love. But I'm not really in a serious
relationship yet, so it's made me wonder what's really going on. I do
know that last Friday, when I went to find her in the department store
where she works, my heart kinda sank when I saw another guy talking with
her. . . after a couple of moments, I had the sense that it would be
best to step out into the mall and start window shopping. Luckily, she
didn't see me the first time. About 30 minutes later, I went back in. .
. he was still there, so I stood quietly. . . although I snuck in
quietly and was a ways from the jewelry counter where she was, somehow
she picked up on it and noticed me. Then, they kind of wrapped their
discussion quickly, and he and his friend moved on. Then, I had a
chance to talk to her. And no, he was not a customer; I've seen him in
there before.
Anyways, it's getting increasingly obvious to me that something is going
on inside my own body. . . just thinking of her causes my body to move
in certain ways when I'm alone sometimes, but thinking of some other
woman doesn't do much of anything at all (well, with one exception). I
suspect the reason the kundalini is doing what it's been doing is to
give me some sort of sign, which is becoming quite obvious, if I'm
interpreting my body signals correctly.
Is there a way to get the kundalini to show me better what's going on
with my feelings and also to identify feelings that I'm repressing? I
don't always understand (and usually don't even have the time to
understand) my own body language, so to speak.
- Hudson
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