To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/11/27 19:59
Subject: Re: [K-list] ANGER
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 1999/11/27 19:59, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 02:28 PM 11/26/99 , Steve Salter wrote:
>today though...i am alone. I went to my parents for the traditional
thanksgiving
>celebration and after many months of not seeing my siblings (they are
christians
>and i have always been the black sheep) it was good to reestablish a
continuity.
>
>ANGER has flooded through me.
Hiya Steve:
Family, eh? Last summer I was briefly writing to my older sister, who
is in the middle of divorcing an abusive asshole she married when I was 12.
Writing to her threw me for a loop, for a week. ANGER!! So much anger and
it wiped me out, I could not understand where it was all coming from, at
first... but it is my habit to unify with people when I write to them, and
after a while I went into the anger and discovered it had little to do with
me.. she was still mad about family stuff that happened 20 years ago.. and
I could not eat it coz she does not want to forgive, she wants "justice".
So she tells me stories of how her son's giant sheep dog is always
acting up, around her and she has to discipline it and wrestle it into
submission, drag it off to it's kennel.
Goddess tells me that the dog is acting up to give her a place to release
her anger, her own buried Dominant Sadism, as an act of love.. but I know
she would not hear that explanation, anymore than she heard me when I told
her that her passion for playing elaborate practical jokes on her staff,
was a sadist control outlet.
A nasty one, because if her employees complain then they are labeled "bad
sport with no sense of humor". She has a hard time keeping employees to
run the store, but never considers how her "jokes" destroy the trust of her
staff. A family dynamic that I recognised and rerouted, into consensual
games.. but my Kin insist they are not like me.. I am the black sheep.
German genes. I understood my Mom's side of the family a lot better,
when I went to Germany and discovered that German Santa Claus carries a
stick to beat the bad children with.. to provide the pounding that makes
good steel. Spare the rod, spoil the child. Life is hard then you die.
My Mom is still mad about stuff that happened with her sister before I
was born. Oy.
The ironic thing I observe about my family, is that the members who are
good at forgiveness are slander, and the ones who hold a grudge all have
weight problems.
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