To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/11/17 08:28
Subject: [K-list] 'less is more' / Mystress you read too
From: winter mute
On 1999/11/17 08:28, winter mute posted thus to the K-list:
On Tue, 16 Nov 1999 13:38:44 Mystress Angelique Serpent wrote:
> She is a loveable nuisiance.. LOL!!
LOL ! Thank you very much, Mystress.
>overdo it, a little .. bandwidth is a shared resource, and most people only
>have time, to read so much mail in a day.. so share nice, like
>kindergarden, OK?
Yes, OK. :)
I think I should take it as a flatter to be censored by
the Mystress as the only other person I have seen
you do it to on this list was a human dynamite stick
called Domchi (remember him ?). LOL !
> Someplace in there it also has something about being mindfull whether
>you are posting for egoistic reasons, to get attention or appear clever, or
>in service to other
Or maybe all three at the same time ? ;) LOLOL !
> LOL!! Well, I don't want to squash you, but think what V. had in mind
>was Amanda's tendency to leave long posts unsnipped with a few "I agree"
>type comments added here and there, like her personal stamp of approval.
>That appears to be more about demonstrating that she is being a benevolent
>audience, than that she needs one...
Mystress, let me be honest with you.
I tell you this since you are the list admin
(good one at that) and wrote the list rules.
(It is not because I feel attacked
from you, you may do that all you want :) )
It is just that
you have given me a free chance to bring up
something that has been on my mind for a long time.
I have been a member of this for less than 9 months.
In the course of that time I have once been
scolded for apparently
having too much Kundalini, once for
apparently too little Kundalini and now for
being too talkative. (???)
All from ppl who apparently had a bad day, as we
all can have and not the least with an active
Kundalini.
However,
during the time on the list, I have seen other
ppl getting loudly and blatantly attacked
for their opinions and views and getting
carted out of the list by a general
consensus.
I do respect the list rules and I do respect ppl's
need for bandwidth (yes, I will snip more
aggressively from now on)
but what I think is lacking from this list
(and we have talked about this before, Mystress)
is a clear list rule stating that ppl
communicate with some restrictiveness of
flaming, anger and aggressiveness.
One reason why I do that nodding so much, is as you
guessed, to be a hospitable audience, to give ppl
some room and not argue when they have
opinions that do not correspond exactly with mine.
Yes, ppl are entitled to have their own opinions
and cry for help, and do all sorts of strange
things here.
But there have been too many incidents where the
collected reaction from the list have been one of
"the nail that sticks out shall be hammered down".
Do you understand what I mean ?
Yes, this is an online community and most such
communities do have a certain consensus and style of
rapport b/n the members and so it is with this list.
The thing that I personally dislike, though, is that
the style or communication on this particular
list seems very
much to be one of "the right of the strongest".
Meaning that the person with the loudest voice,
the meanest arguments, and most ruthless style of
communication is the one that gets to be heard,
and gets to hammer the less insistent voices down,
into silence.
Yes, I have myself been guilty of this at times
and have felt
the hammer come down too, so I have gotten it both
ways.
I see the bickering and disagreements on this list
as something like sibling rivalry, unavoidable,
even humorous at times.
But the almost ritual upheavals and "cleansings"
that seem to occur on this list (and are being
blamed on everything from the full moon to the
white flowers)
just seem to me to be rather unnecessary
and inordinately cruel.
Also, I sense that there are many list members
who simply do not dare make their input to the list
out of fear that they will be harshly
criticized online by someone else.
And a strange thing it is because the voice that
speaks the loudest does not necessarily speak
the "truest".
Standard human face to face communication is
complex and in many instances "designed" to smooth
down the conflicts and problems that appear out in
the real world b/n egos.
Online communication is not face to face and thus
it is easy and tempting to leave the standard
lines for communication behind and do as one
pleases, including unrestricted flaming and
anger venting.
When life is difficult, at least you can get a sense
of power by shouting at your online
buddies.
I just wish this would happen less
and more room given to the "small voices"
and really just about everybody, no matter what
is on their heart or their reasons for
seeking out this list and Kundalini.
Mystress, I respect you and the wish of the list members. :)
If I have offended anyone with this post,
I deeply apologize.
I just wanted to bring this up now when I had the
chance and the issue was "right".
Much love,
Amanda.
like a listener who says Uh-huh every
>so often to let you know they are listening. I think her intentions are
>positive, she is simply not aware of community standards, so to speak.
> That is the kind of thing that works better, in real-time. Members are
>asked to avoid sending "I Agree" posts to the list, especially unsnipped
>ones, simply because if everybody did that, the list would become
>unreadable. It is in the best interests of all to try to maintain a good
>signal-to-noise ratio on the list. Better to thank the author directly,
>instead of hitting reply-to all..
>
>>Now, I hope I haven't pushed a button or two on your sensitive zones, if so
>>my sincere apologies.
>>v, I invite you to take up some bandwidth of your own...
>>So, who are you, what are you finding..?
> Yes, Valerie, we haven't heard much from you.. how are you? How is your
>daughter?
>
>>Are you expansive enough, v is a very little mark to leave on this medium,
>>there is so much band width to spare.
>>
>>Much Love, Wim
> Eh, bandwidth.. I mostly have given up chasing after it, because I
>got too impatient with rude people to be very civilized about it. It used
>to be a big issue on the list, but I think technology has made it less
>important to members. Faster modems.. I wait for my name to be called, and
>occasionally send out my "remember to snip" form letter...
> I get the K-list multiplied by x= how many members let their mailbox
>overflow? K-list times bounce reports.. good thing I am on cable internet.
>Bandwith is not an issue to me, but some folks want me to intercede on
>their behalf, so I do..
>
> There is now an edited digest version of the list available to those
>with scarce bandwidth.. but, it is provided by the efforts of my beloved
>slave percyval, he with the heart so vast and gentle.
> he is disabled with the chronic pain of lyme disease, and can only spend
>a limited amount of time at the computer each day before he becomes
>exhausted from the effort... he is the one who has to clean up after the
>folks who are too lazy to snip, and he is the one who gets to cut the
>useless "I agree" posts out of the digest. he is the one who has to make
>sense out of the digest and put line breaks back in, after someone's use of
>styled text or HTML has jammed all the posts together into one big
>unreadable block of words.
> Why does he do it? Not out of any reward from the list, but simply
>because he loves me, and reminding people to obey list guidelines was
>wearing on me. I didn't invent the list guidelines, I inherited them along
>with the list. They were created by the members input.
>
> I have tried almost everything, to get folks to be respectful of general
>nettiquite on this list, and pretty much given up. Funny, I never thought
>of emotional blackmail before.. :) Obey the guidelines, or the slave
>suffers... heh heh heh... coz he is the one who has to clean up the
>signal-to noise ratio to make the edited version of the list available to
>those with bandwidth restrictions.
>
>>v wrote:
>>> I cannot afford the time to download all your posts like this each
>>>day, & am sure I'm not alone.
>>> Angelique? Is there any rule about flooding the room with too many
>>>posts?
>>>v
> Take a look.. the guidelines are at..:
> http://www.list-server.net/kundalini/k-list_faq.html
> Blessings..
>
>
>
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