To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/11/14 00:23
Subject: Re: [K-list] Black magic and misuse of Power?
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 1999/11/14 00:23, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 03:43 PM 11/10/99 , alingimp wrote:
>Angelique,
>
>Just wanted to let you know that I do appreciate your posts, as I do El's,
>and that I hope you won't quit posting to the list.
Thankyou. :)
>
>What can I say, sometimes some of us disagree or simply misunderstand each
>other.
Yes. Like, now. :)
My comment was kind of misunderstood, tho I appreiated the
appreciation..:)
It was not intended to sound like a "Take my ball and go home" kinda
thing.
It was more like, a person who knows they are a werewolf, observing the
hair growing on thier palms and mentioning plans to lock themselves up for
the full moon so no-one gets bitten.
When my energy gets low, as it was when I wrote that post, sometimes my
Alpha Wolf gets loose and attacks at the smell of fear. When that happens,
I avoid civilized company and only hang around with maschocists who enjoy
the feel of my fangs. They appreciate that aspect of my personality, and
they give it love and dismantle the trap of attachments, before the pain
turnes it into Berserker Wolf and it chews it's own leg off to be free...
I don't mind the Alpha Wolf, it serves like Goddess as Mamma bear,
shredding anything that is in the way between Her and Her cub/vessel. It
mostly comes out when I've gotten stuck in somebody else's karma.. when
someone has sent me shit that they are not willing to surrender. Free Will
is Goddess law, and so thier resistance becomes my resistance, their
blockages become mine, and block my flow of energy and wisdom.
I take on thier limits and get blind and stupid and cannot find my way
home. I'm walking around in someone else's ego, bitching about issues that
are not my own, but I cannot tell it's not me, until they have cleared and
I am back to being my higher self again.
If my energy is clear enough, in the first place, shit doesn't stick..
but if anything does stick, other stuff gets backed up behind it blocking
the flow, and I crash and hide out, express the energy in art.
Last week my ex-slave's name kept coming up in conversation, so I first
looked inside myself for what is unforgiven, didn't find much, but since I
was training a novice shit eater, I invited her to practice by feeding on
me, find what she could, and then forgot about it. Since she is novice she
opened to the ex-slave as well as myself, without realizing.. my ex-slave
can create Karma faster than anybody can eat it, and is addicted to the
adrenaline of disasters.. that's why I released her.
I was getting headaches on Wed, which I kept clearing but they kept
coming back. Then weakness and upset stomach and coughing, which wouldn't
clear and had me too blocked to see where it was coming from, to clear it
at the source. By Sunday afternoon I was so stupid it was an effort to even
remember how to clear my energy.. By Sunday night I was writhing and
barfing in agony, begging Goddess for mercy.
When I woke early Mon. I felt clearer, but still very fragile.. but the
worst of it was past, so information was flowing again. My priestess wrote
to remind me of the project I had given her, and the lights went on.
At last I could identify the source, and go to work. That night, I got
an email from the ex-slave, whom I had not heard from in months, telling me
how grateful she was for my teachings and explaining she has run off to be
a Buddhist Nun in a Monastery in Thailand, and confirming that she has been
spending a lot of energy meditating on me.. which is probably why her name
was coming into my mind, in the first place.
She told me that she has released her attachment to me and taken a vow to
give up worldly things.. and that she has a producer who in interested in
her screenplay and she is desperate to get my approval. Oy. Same old same
old..
Mystress wrote:
>> I guess I need to barf it back to her, it's wiping me out.
So I did, and now I feel better, but I'm still clearing debris from
my system.
>>
>> I'm gonna go back to lurking, now, and working on writing the on-line
>>course that I hope will raise money for a Kundalini Sanctuary, Seems like
>>a better use of my time, than posting to the list, these days...
Yeah, I have several hundred unsent posts in my outbox, most of the
time. Posts I get too distracted to finish, or posts that take a nasty
turn, and Alpha wolf comes out.. or posts where Goddess didn't tell me the
rest of what to write, yet.. posts that are written to clear my own head
and are not intended to be sent. Posts that are simply forgotten.
That one sat for a day being evaluated for wolfishness coz I knew my
energy was messed up and I didn't want to bite anyone.. and I couldn't tell
if it would. To me it was ironic humor.
Blessings..
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