To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/10/01 12:20
Subject: Re: [K-list] K: Agony and Ecstasy & BLISS!!!
From: Wim Borsboom
On 1999/10/01 12:20, Wim Borsboom posted thus to the K-list:
Dear Adele,
The biggest problem that ppl. have with communication is that they use it to
NOT communicate.
I trust that you will *not* take what follows as a counter argument to what
you wrote. I trust that you appreciate that I take your email as an example
because it is a good one.
You wrote to me:
>You mentioned that knowing something doesn't help. That depends...
Well I'm sure that I mentioned that "knowing something doesn't help..."
because I tend to say that kind of thing. The context in which I said those
words does not really matter, because it is one of those statements that
deals with the absolute. That means it must be true in any circumstance, it
must have to do with Truth period. Yes, I take some audacity in saying this
and that is the point. I don't say this absolute kind of thing so that it
can be argued with, otherwise I may as well not have said it. Those things
are said to be *considered*.
Now, instead of considering this 'truth statement' and communicate the
recognition of it in love, happiness, joy and hugs, you counter-acted as so
many ppl. would do. Instead of picking up on the irrefutability of the
statement (God forbid, that may have enlightened you :-) you said, "That
depends...." and you started arguing (positively), beating around the bush
with observations, reasonings and subtle signs of escape and counter
manoeuvres. All very well meant, obviously worth a lot to you, I have no
right to discount any of it and to argue with you. I 've gone through lots
of countering strategies myself (I must have exasperated quite a few) and...
eventually found that those strategies didn't work.
So the point of communication is, when you encounter ANY statement (verbal,
emotional, physical, artistic etc.) it may well have to do with truth,
consider it instead of countering it. The hugs will spontaneously follow...
Love, Wim.
Adele wrote:
>You mentioned that knowing something doesn't help. That
>depends
>I remember the best advice I ever got in Art Academy:
>first,
>learn the traditional path (even Matisse taught his students
>realistic drawing according to tradition). After you have
>mastered the traditional path, forget everything you've
>learned.
>
>Learning is very important (by learning, I mean
>understanding
>something intellectually) because it provides roots,
>stability.
>Once the roots are secure, then one can let oneself go and
>be free to explore.
>
>At least that is what I have found. It's very important to
>me to analyze something first. That is the way I test it's
>root in what I call reality.
>
>Love and/or happiness is the same thing for me. Sometimes
>it
>can be a 'blind'. Now, if I were to flogg myself over
>feeling
>feelings of love and/or happiness, then I am entering the
>realm of neurosis (please understand this is my own opinion;
>I'm not staking any claim on Absolute Truth, here).
>
>The key is the ability to let anything go, I think. Even
>love.
>Not letting go in a cruel say, but by letting it go, it has
>not taken possession of one's soul.
>
>Someone once mentioned compassion being higher or better
>than
>passionate love. I tend to agree here, because passionate
>love creates a lock onto the mind and heart (obsession)
>whereas
>compassion is detached concern.
>
>Love this list,
>adele
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