To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/09/23 10:25
Subject: Re: [K-list] mutate and survive (was recycling)
From: Blackswan
On 1999/09/23 10:25, Blackswan posted thus to the K-list:
The "guises" and "masks" and outward compensations this string
of emails speak of are indeed fear and shame based. Those "I am
not enough" in some way, or "I should be different." kinds of
messages. It is pretty generous and sensitive to authentically
listen -- to notice both outward clues as well as energetic and
empathetic promptings. I think the overall point is to actually
BE with people when you are with them. When you are that, you
allow respect and love to show up instead of mere niceness or
politeness that passes for tolerance and respect.
Then, inasmuch as you are OK with yourself (free, generous,
loving, gracious, etc. with yourself), you give THEM freedom /
permission / space to be real -- to say it like it is without
the formulas, constructions, and compensation patterns we can
tend to get stuck in. This is not "nicer" or "prettier" or even
more comfortable, it's simply more real. And authenticity is
essentially a search for, or value of, the truth. When we are
without masks, it is more volatile and more vulnerable. The
"Cuts can seem too cruel" as RUSH lyrics state. So it is risky.
You may get hurt, You may piss then off. They may get mad or sad
and withdraw. But as long as genuine love is there pursuing an
intimacy that is real, then there is freedom to be with all your
own fears and stay in the game.
Sans masks and guises mode of communicating is more risky. But
at this level the opportunity is also greater. Being who you are
and where you are at without some overriding commentary trying
to keep you looking good, is being present and open. But when
you are real and vulnerable, you are most beautiful too. Not
makeup beautiful, but beautiful like a baby is beautiful for
simply being a baby. In this state of being silenced from some
internal Public Relationship campaign, and open to hear, you can
let other's beauty in too -- as in mutual acknowledgment,
acceptance, and appreciation. THIS has the power to make a
difference in muting those original fear/protect messages. You
begin to GET IT that you can love and be loved, that you do have
something to contribute and that you sometimes do not contribute
it. You're simply being honest about the parts you are proud of
as well as the places where you are not even being true to your
own all edged values. I think it starts with being authentic
about how inauthentic we mostly are.
And it is in this choosing to let it be
just-the-way-it-is-and-the-way-it-is-not (when done in the
context of love), where "ego" loosens it domineering grip and we
grow and become the difference-makers we really are. We accept
the truth instead of fighting it to make it different than it
is. We grow into ourselves (as Rainer Maria Rilke put it) -- we
become more and more ourselves -- true to who we really are
instead of people badgered and bullied by shame, concerns,
accusations, fears, or guilt. You could say, that's what growing
up is all about.
I've been speaking on more psychological terms and I do know
that it is possible to address all these dynamics on a more
direct energetic level too. So I say this for our minds and
hearts to get, because I do not know how to use mere words in
emails to directly exchange the energetic knowing of the same
process. But if I could say something to make the difference I
want to make, I would say it so that our spirits get it.
Something that could shift our core being however you want to
word it. But if it only resulted in Mental acquiescence and
emotional sympathetic waves, that would not even really work.
Touching only mind and emotions would be insufficient because
even if I could use emails to cause people to get mental
information, emotional healing, and energetic baths, something
else -- something more -- would still be missing. If it does not
start from a whole new relationship to all that is--the Person
who is the Most, then it finally, it is an outward change or a
temporary energetic "fix". It is still not change from the
inside out.
What I want to speak to is not psychological and those models
seem way too limited to me. It is also more than simply
energetic. This is finally spiritual. But spiritual truth is
RELATIONAL truth. Realizing that, I say that we change
spiritually by choosing a new relationship. A new relationship
to God, a new relationship to ourselves; really we end up
getting a whole new identity not encumbered by those shame masks
and instead free too enjoy giving and receiving intimate love.
We get (not evolve into or work our way into) an identity that
renders our old stories about ourselves obsolete. I could say
it this way: we choose a new relationship to what is real and
true. It is not about DOING it or KNOWING HOW, it is about a
faith-choice. That means asking to be given a new relationship
and choosing that new relationship. A relationship that discards
autonomy for graceful surrender and chooses to both house and be
a conduit of more than itself. That's as best as I can
articulate it in the moment.
Again, to choose authenticity disarms the ego because
authenticity's pursuit of truth displaces the ego's pursuit of
looking OK on the outside. Then we can legitimately HAVE needs
without BEING needy. And, in the way I see it, we are unstopped
by the fears of loss or pain and most free to make the
difference love can make. Now love becomes a free gift,
unattached to (independent of) the receiver's response to it.
Now we give up "loving" people because we think we need them
(because we don't inasmuch as we are ourselves OK and connected
to the Source of energy), and we can really love -- meaning to
love simply because we choose to be loving without any thought
for returned reciprocal intention. Desiring reciprocation of
course, but not NEEDING it. It's all about resisting the unreal
and surrendering to the real. Real relationships. Authenticity
as choice, freedom of expression, and enlightened love!
--blackswan
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