To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/08/24 12:31
Subject: [K-list] Contemplative Christianity/Kundalini Libido/Tantra
From: Sirach9310
On 1999/08/24 12:31, Sirach9310 posted thus to the K-list:
Hello folks, I am brand new to this list.My name is Alan ,age 42.I live here
on the west coast in the wonderful City of Roses.My journey has taken me from
my roots of Catholic to evangelical thumperism.I use to burn witches,horn
dogs and tantrikas <smile>Anyways I want to be really personal here and stand
naked in hope that it might help some one else as well as my self.It is a
real Kama sutra activity for me... I am a naked addict these days.I began my
spiritual quest that I was consciously aware of in 1975-76 where I spent
about a year doing numerous courses in Scientology,then guided by a higher
essence of myself,guides,angels,Bodhi satvvas,Magha satvvas, Sad Guru etc
etc...I was initiated into tm and the tm sidhis. I did my tm thing twice
daily for years and by the mid 80s was simply suffering in hell from the
commentary of my own mind that seemed to pledge alleigence to words such as
compunction,sense addiction,selfishness,sin.As a christian and I mean that
word not in the cliche`s context of fundamentalism but as some one wanting to
follow the path of selflessness even unto death of the cross as Paul said of
the Master Jesus...I was simply tormented by incredibly intense libido and
all my yearning for christ,christ consciousness,God conciousness,Unity,Divine
Union seemed to intensify this primal instinctual urge to merge with the
opposite sex.It scared the hell out of me and I was sure it was Satan or
Lucifer or Baphometh or what ever name you care to give to the boogie man so
I quit my medtiation practice for about 2 years and immersed my self in 60
plus hours of work a week.Tis a holy and righteous thing to do especially
when wanting to take care your wife and 4 kids.I lived for the next couple
years in a totally repressed,mechanicality,responding to every ones needs and
wants and becoming angry and full of guilt and shame for even having any
desire or preferences of my own. A few years ago I started back up with my
daily meditation practice and I immersed my self into the studies of the
christian mystics (desert fathers and Mothers) and became a certifide
graduate of a course from Contemplative Outreach which guided me into further
studies of Zen Buddhism and about this time met up with folks at a local
trappist monastery where I would meet for all day meditation sittings and
walking meditiation.Here at this Monastery I also met up with members of
groups of people into the "work" of Gurdjieff,P.D Ouspenky (The 4th way) and
now attend weekly meets with these folks as well..I have tryed to study over
the years about Kundalini and how it relates to pure Libido and the chakra
language yet it doesn't really resonate with me.I find some help and
understanding probably more so in the Kabbalistic tree of life and its
relationship to the law of 3 in regards to Malkuth and Yesod..The raising of
the Holy Spark....Other work that gives some greater understanding for me is
Ken Wilbers work specially the "Atman Project" as his explanations of the
three bodies of Buddha or Buddhism Niramankaya,Sambhogakakya and Dharmakaya
help a great deal in understanding this process of evolution as it really
relates to the matter of understanding just what is one is experiencing and
percieving just this from the highest posssible translation or understanding
possible.I find I am more and more attracted to Tantra literature these days
specially the "Highest Yoga Tantra" by Daniel Cozort and am intuitively
adapting this Tibetan Tantra into my own work which I am learning to just
surrender to this female which is just all me anyways. There are so many
different words and ways to say the same thing.I will be lurking,learning and
I invite others who might be following along in the tradition of christian
contemplatives,Zen Buddhist and Transcendental Meditation to my own list at
http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/Contemplativeclectic
Some of you may be of help to others here.I am also on icq 7753445 and
RocketTalk ID# 80040 or Yogiji Parabanana.If you care to coagulate energies
(polarize)and gain a greater sense of your self.This can be fun and doesnt
have to be tormenting. Suffering is not enough. Om Shalom,Alan
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