To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/08/11 18:43
Subject: Re: [K-list] Secret Shame .....
From: Fredaann
On 1999/08/11 18:43, Fredaann posted thus to the K-list:
Christopher Wynter wrote:
>
> The following was written by my partner, Fiona, as part of her own remembering
> process ...
>
it really seems a shame that fionas words appear here without fiona.
This looks like innitial rambling to me, incompleate thoughts. It is
hard 'for me' to distinquish who it is whos' shame is in question.
If one were to blame in this situation, it is fiona, it appears to be
her shame, her burden, and hers to let go of or keep, and if the theory
is correct... pass on ... taken a step further on the evolutionary
scale... perhaps she will again repeat, I heard somewhere a fews years
ago that it is 'preferable' to re-enter in our own DNA line, if not the
only way? to re-enter this plane.... I dont know, but if this is the
case, wouldnt the 1st opportunity to re-enter, in most cases be as our
own grandchilren, or great-grandchildren?
Perhaps, it was not the mothers power over fionas' living or dying, I
suggest it was fionas' own desire to re-enter at whatever the cost....
she says her mother did not want her... could have miscarried... and
that she believes SHE chose her parents.
and now says:
> It is about unburdening my 'secret' onto anyone who I think: a)
> > will listen, b) might have an answer and c) couldn't really see me anyway. If
> > I thought, for one minute, that they knew my secret - the shame I carry - I'd
> > run away.
a handy dandy way to hide from the shame of forcing your will on
another, is to blame them for your unhappiness. The embryo of this story
has a will to live that seems invasive at the very least....
I would ask fiona, had fiona posted, what affect her insistance on
'this' particular lifetime and 'this' particular beginning may have had
on her mothers well being, during and after her birth, and, if her
mother still lives what her 'perceptions' are of all this, now and then
(we dont have her mothers thoughts here to compare) are the mothers
perceptions the same? and then, what are the emotional scars on the
mother that may result in the daughters belief of her being the cause of
her childs unhappiness..... IF her mother is distressed by her daughters
distress wont the DNA be futher corrupted.
I am working on a move forward. I cant change the past only my
perception accociated with it....
I am trying to change myself. its all I have the power to do
that is what I am working towards...
cause it makes more sense than trying to figure it out.
I would be afraid to accect this theory into my personal truths, cause I
believe, "what I believe will manifest itself..." and I really dont want
to work backwards in evolution. If it is so, then I am on the right
track IMO, to forgive, take responsablity, and try to love as I want to
be loved.
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