To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/08/09 16:17
Subject: Re: [K-list] introduction
From: alingimp
On 1999/08/09 16:17, alingimp posted thus to the K-list:
[]
Snip
>> I have never heard of Kundalini until recently. I
>> had
>> heard it mentioned in passing, and was talking to my
>> psychiatrist on Friday and he said there was a
>> condition called "Kundalini psychosis" which could
>> resemble many of the things I am going through,
>> although he does not believe me to be psychotic
>> (merely autistic, which I basically agree with).
Looks to me like you're fortunate to have a psychiatrist who recognizes
Kundalini, apparantly most doctors don't.
So it sounds like you won't be let down in the medical department, which is
a bonus.
>> I looked it up on the web, and was amazed and
>> frightened by the things I read. I have no formal
>> religious or meditational background, but a lot of
>> this stuff seems to have gone on for as long as I
>> can
>> remember. Lately it is getting more intense to the
>> point I can hardly stand it sometimes.
>>
>> I feel unprepared for this and very confused. I
>> don't
>> know what's going on, really, and I am prepared to
>> be
>> changed a lot but do not want an organised religion
>> to
>> be the basis of this. Personal change is one thing,
>> but I do not want it heavily influenced by a group.
Grab yourself some books to get more familiar with Kundalini, it can't hurt
to be informed about the phenomenon as well as to read about other people's
experiences with K. Well, it may well be that you'll turn religious, on your
own, not in a bookish way where you just read about it and go yeah, all
right, but you may actually start to experience religion firsthand and start
to understand what it's about, no matter what religion you're from. In my
case, K turned out to be a religious experience to a large extent, I can't
help it, it just turned out to be that way on it's own. Don't worry too much
about the group thing, religion isn't really about being brainwashed by some
obscure Guru or Jesus wannabe.
>>
snip
>> I have been told for years I'm going through
>> something
>> important and spiritual, but I've never believed it.
Do you believe it now?
Snip
>> I'm pretty analytical, but I don't think that is
>> incompatible with what is happening.
>>
Being analytical sounds quite useful to me when you're dealing with what
you're going through right now.
Snip
Starting to feel emotions in
>> my
>> body, and found and was surprised that they
>> correspond
>> to chakras (as I said I have not studied this
>> extensively) except the throat one which never does
>> anything (I don't know if there is any significance
>> to
>> that but would guess there might be).
There most probably is. Sounds to me like your throat chakra might still be
closed or almost closed (the throat chakra has to do with speech and
communication)
Also thought
>> until a few months ago that feeling "from the heart"
>> was some kind of silly metaphor, but now I notice I
>> have feeling there too.
Sounds like your opening up there, which is good, let those feelings flow.
Snip.
>> I don't know what to do. I am writing here. Please
>> reply. I am scared, and yet looking forward to what
>> is going on. I can't explain any of this. Emotions
>> this strong.. experiences this strong.. I don't know
>> what to do and I am scared.. I know I've said that..
>> I
Could it be that you are so unsettled by your emotions because as an autist
you are not used to have such strong emotions? By the symptoms you described
above in some of the text I snipped off (because of the bandwithproblem on
this list) you describe classical K symptoms like the buzzing noise,
shifting of consciousness, the lights, the electricity, the sensation in
your spine etc., you just seem to experience most of them at once and that
very intensely. Unfortunately there is no one answer about what exactly to
do, because K is an individual process and people will react differently to
it.
You describe yourself as being hyperactive, well, so am I. Very often I have
a very high, buzzing and vibrating energy level that can be a bit much at
times. A lot of people will advise you absolutely against meditation, but it
certainly seems to help me. What I do to calm myself down and to stay
centered is Hatha Yoga and meditation, but I also have to release some of my
hyperactive energy on a physical level and for this Karate turned out to be
the answer in my case, because it forces me to be focused at the same time
as I release some of my energy. Well, I think the best advice would be to
just go with the flow and let K take it's course, but in most of us K will
encounter at least some if not a lot of resistance as it burns through our
holdings, misdirected behavioural patterns and other baggage from this or
even from past lives.
Karin
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