To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/08/09 11:10
Subject: Re: [K-list] Fuzzy brain & anger
From: Martin Thompson
On 1999/08/09 11:10, Martin Thompson posted thus to the K-list:
Hi, Roger. Take my tips or leave them, as you please.
17:17:56 Sun, 8 Aug 1999
Roger Bose at Roger Bose <bose_45ATnospamhotmail.com> writes:
>Hello all,
>
> I've been feeling alot of anger lately, and I've been allowing myself to
>feel and project/express it. But I have had some conflict because I still
>have some old tapes that tell me that its not "spiritual" to feel/profect
>anger.
Why shouldn't it be "spiritual"? Do you know what your intended path is?
Consider the function of anger. It arises in normal life when your
desires are frustrated or threatened. As such, it can be a healthy
warning, to *you* that you are not following your desires. Children are
usually pretty congruent: they know what they like and go for it. As we
grow up, we often forget what we want to do with our lives under the
pressures of parental wishes, career, and so on, and we need to take
time out to find ourselves again. Sound like you?
> What's the difference between feeling anger and projecting it?
>
Someone else can answer that.
> During the night I was feeling these electrical shocks which seemed to
>come from the center of my brain. Like something shocking me, stunning me.
>weird.... I've felt this before, but long ago.
>
Any particular things going on at that time, long ago?
[snip]
> I think it's just stuff I'm going through. Feelings of inadequacy
>stemming from not really knowing with clarity haw to go forth with my life.
>Perhaps finishing school would be good.....
>
Aha. As I said.
> My folks both want me to finish and get a steady income...
>
Aha. Ditto.
> In 1990 after 4 years of college I stopped....I felt it was useless and
>pointless.
Aha.
> I went deeply into alternative therapies, lived at Harbin Hot
>Springs for about 3 years(a commune type place), and worked with geodesic
>domes... What I need to do is somehow integrate all of the things I learned
>after college into my life and society. Working on it... I think I went
>through heavy K energy after 1990... Was doing mushrooms and LSD and Pot.. I
>have pretty much stopped enthogens for now... for about 2 years...and still
>the k energy is quite strong....
So, despite all the pressures, you've got the gumption to chuck it all
in and do what you want. What's the matter?
Lack of self-esteem/confidence? Well, a lot of this alternative
therapy/Eastern mysticism stuff concentrates on ridding yourself of your
ego, but I don't go for that myself: Western culture is ego based. Your
lack of confidence is a clear and obvious sign that you need to develop
your ego: go by *YOUR* path, not anybody else's. Without strength of
character, your anger could become more than just a warning; it could
lead you astray, as indeed, could weakness of character. To be "good"
perhaps *you* have to be strong.
If you don't know what to do with your life, consider setting arbitrary
goals and see how they feel. Or, consider thinking what goals would you
have if you *did* have goals (i.e., "what if..."). But without goals,
you risk drifting, and letting 10 or 20 years slip by. With goals, you
can channel that anger energy into positive action and build a stronger
ego at the same time. Consider it. Maybe that's what it's there for.
--
Martin Thompson martinATnospamtucana.demon.co.uk
London, UK
Home Page: http://www.tucana.demon.co.uk
Free Regular Income: http://www.virtualis.com/vr/mthomps4/vrp.html
"Everything I do and say with anyone makes a difference." Gita Bellin
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