To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/07/30 00:45
Subject: Re: [K-list] Mini poll---Dark Night Of the Soul
From: Colette T
On 1999/07/30 00:45, Colette T posted thus to the K-list:
Hi All. It is me wondering if it is proper to write about it here ? .. will write a bit how it was for me .. and you will all realise that it is different for everybody.
Well for me it was a protracted period within deep in the unconscious, which is dark. Though I appeared to everyone to look the same - I was becoming aware of mighty spirit - which in its unfamiliarity was scary to me. I seemed to be on an inner journey within and could not get out till I learned my lessons.
It seems rigid attachment to my ego and body as self was replaced with learning I am fundamentally spirit in essence. This was scary for ego to go through for it fears its power being replaced by spirit awareness. So trials and tribulations and torments etc were experienced to teach me how bad is clinging to ego and matter as self .. to wean me off rigid attachment (now I can come back to play as all aspects - I am body too and I love my ego).
It was learning how to let go attachment - it was learning how to let go duality polarity (even momentarily can be the Gift) .. It was very arduous and difficult. Not an overnight thing.
In this inner dark, God and any comfort cannot be found (though one is protected during this holy process but you feel anything but) - as we are trusted enough by the Lord to be ready to go it alone .. to find the Light Within the Dark. The dark is God too. Resisting it empowers it as real and fearful. It taught me so much and yes as Christopher has said taught me all my brainwashing from religion set me up for separation and attachment to fear of a valid part of the whole which is ALL God. The teachings of P'taah and such saved my but - but you are drawn to that which will help.
Stuff like that ... So check this out ... <http://www.bb.com.au/colette/darknite.htm>http://www.bb.com.au/colette/darknite.htm
(St John of Cross quotes n others)
And ... <http://www.bb.com.au/colette/darklite.htm>http://www.bb.com.au/colette/darklite.htm .. where my poem is too.
~*~
St. Symeon the New Theologian
'I thank you that you, even when I was sitting in darkness, revealed yourself to me.
You enlightened me, you granted me to see the light of your countenance, that is unbearable to all.
I remained seated in the middle of the darkness I know, but while I was there, surrounded by darkness,
You appeared as light, illuminating me completely from your total light.
And I became light in the night, I who was found in the midst of darkness.
Neither the darkness extinguished your light completely,
Nor did the light dissipate the visible darkness,
But they were together, yet completely separate,
Without confusion, far from each other, surely not at all mixed,
Except in the same spot where they filled everything ...
So I am in darkness.
Yet I am still in the middle of the light.
How can darkness receive within itself a light
And, without being dissipated by the light,
It still remains in the middle of the light?
O awesome wonder which I see doubly,
With my two sets of eyes, of the body and the soul!'
I would say that there are a few here most likely in their dark night of soul (transformation). It's psychological awakening to Self as witness and ego as fear and spirit as Love (as it seemed to me). In any case learning to let go rigid attachment to ego allows one to balance awareness as Self (wholeness).
IMO
Col
~~~<~ATnospam)
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