To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/07/16 10:55
Subject: [Kundalini_flow] [K-list] Re: Soul Link
From: john Percyval
On 1999/07/16 10:55, john Percyval posted thus to the K-list:
From: "john Percyval" <percyvalATnospamatt.net>
This message is forwarded from Kundalini-List-Edited:
From: LeTeegeeATnospamaol.com
Date: Fri, 16 Jul 1999 12:38:15 EDT
Subject: Soul Link
To: kundalini-l-eATnospamonelist.com
> reikihealerATnospamwebtv.net wrote:
> This is the first time I've ever felt this with anyone. Though my
feelings
> for him have gone back and forth, I've found that I am physically unable
to
> break up with him. Each time I have done so, his energy becomes
obsessive,
> keeping me awake all night. Or during the day, it would be more of a
> constant nervous, edgy energy, with occassional sexual pulsating
twitches,
> making it difficult to work or meditate. (I believe he was obsessing at
the
> time.)
Most likely. What is occurring is unacceptance - on both your parts. His
for not wanting to end the relationship... yours for not wanting him to
obsess.
I had this same thing with a man, who continually obsessed about me for
years! He would call or push himself on me when I literally, bluntly, said
to him "Do not call me -- I'll call you if I want to speak to you!" But
<sigh>, the bloomin' idiot thought we were soulmates and decided to be
persistant I guess. I even tried to be 'loving' (in whatever definition I
had of Love at the time) when bluntness didn't work. He still called and
came around. When I finally realized that his unacceptance of the
situation
was my own -- in another form -- I decided to accept the situation. I
decided he could love me, obsess about me, desire me, whatever - it didn't
matter to me. I just wanted him to be who he is, so I could be who I am.
I
could finally laugh at the situation, instead of being sooo frustrated.
It wasn't but less than a month later that he met someone and has been in a
very happy & loving relationship with her (yayyyyy!). He doesn't call me
anymore. (yayyyyy!)
> At this point, I have gone back to him as friends only, just to try and
> control the energy. I've told him to stop thinking about me so the heart
> pain would stop, and it mostly has. We've both found that whenever I
think
> of him, he thinks of me and so forth.
You are sending me mixed messages in your letter, and I mean no offense by
that! So I'm sure he is receiving the same. What is it you really want
from
him? You tell him to stop thinking about you, yet you think of him. Can
we
really *stop* thinking about another? (maybe, maybe not). What we can do
is accept whatever is at hand in the moment.
> Before meeting him, my life was dull. When we break up, I'm depressed.
> However, his personal life is too complicated for a relationship more
than
> where it is now, as friends. My feelings for him have lessened as I feel
I
> need to protect myself from getting hurt again.
Protecting yourself is a form of fear. What is the saying... 'It is better
to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all' (?) (something like
that!). Recognize the fear and release it, surrender it. Never can tell
what will happen!
Since I am not sure what you want from this relationship, (keep him and risk
being hurt? give him up and allow life to be less complicated with no
pain?),
I would suggest to stay in the moment, quit worrying about the future, and
go
with the flow. Your fears are based on past hurts and future worries. No
wonder you are so confused! Let it be whatever it will be.... which will
be
most wonderful if you will just surrender to the moment.
Love,
xxxtg
* You don't stop laughing because you are depressed
You are depressed because you stop laughing *
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