To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/07/01 03:16
Subject: [K-list] Sleep shaktipat / Being a domina
From: A. Erhart
On 1999/07/01 03:16, A. Erhart posted thus to the K-list:
On Wed, 30 Jun 1999 17:41:03 Mystress Angelique Serpent wrote:
>>Oooh, someone accused me of the same thing a few weeks
>>ago, the oddest, I didn*t do a thing.
> Uh, get used to it. Sorry, that's how it goes.
I have no problem with that. :)
> That's why I'm such a hermit.. folks who want to see me come to where I
>am. I think that's why in stories, the Wizard or Guru always lives out in
>the wastes or on a mountaintop. Away from people who would be disturbed by
>their presence and bitch at them.
:D I definitely se your point.
> For a moment's listening, or to fall head over heels in love with me..
>love and attraction seems to simply be the mechanism Goddess uses to make
>them pay attention, and to love me. What they send out returns to them
>multiplied. :)
Yes !!! :)
That is my impression of it all too.
I have always had to be careful of what I say or do in
the presence of guys, because it would very quickly
turn into "I don't know what it is, but I'm falling in
love with you" and it would not be a deliberate thing
from my side. I am not a flirt, but instead rather
nerdy and a real bore, but still, there has always been guys around.
Teachers, men the age of my father, my martial arts
teacher, coworkers, academic supervisors...
and now women as well.
> Other folks, are not meant to be awakened this lifetime, or at least, not
>by me...:) They will feel my presence like scary horror movie chilly creeps
>up the back on the neck that make them want to run away fast. They will
>explain their irrational fear with stories of what a bitch I am.
You're a... dare I say it... witch bitch ? ;)))
Honestly, though, I at first felt veery threatened by
what you do and what you said on the list when I first
joined. But then I read your web site and thought:
"Hmmm.... this wasn't so scary after all. I think I
like the Mystress."
>Since I
>was born awakened, finally it occurred to me to look for the perfection in
>being so terrifying, and I made a career out of it by renting my self out
>to people who think pain and fear is fun, and are willing to pay well to be
>"in the presence"..especially if the Guru is a gorgeous leather-clad
>redhead. LOL!!!
LOL !!!
You are beautiful, Mystress. But I guess ppl tell you
that all the time. :D
> At first, having people I hardly know falling inexplicably in love with
>me was upsetting, because I figger, unrequited love is the worst pain a
>person feels. I was
>trying to squash their feelings out of my own fear of them being harmed by
>it. I felt like they were putting a responsibility on me, for their
>emotional well being, that I did not want.
Hmmm... I am curious as to how you solved that problem.
I agree with you on the unreq. love thing.
I cannot stand it myself, it is pure torture.
In my late teens, I had a guy declare himself gay
after I told him I was not interested. :D
It was fortunately just a temporary reaction of anger.
>since I am "not", all they see
>is the reflection of their own inner divinity. Of course they fall in love.
>That's what falling in love, is.. the inner mate >projected outwards.
I see. Yes, the falling in love process is explained
by psychologists as a theater of projections.
You project your own idealized image of the perfect
lover onto the object of love, and it makes it very
hard to see the loved one from a neutral standpoint.
In fact, falling in love is living in this subjective
projection process. (I guess all living is, btw)
This is why ppl fall in love with the idea of love
and why it can sometimes be really hard when the
"true nature" of your lover starts to materialize and
all his/her faults begin to crop up, negating the
image of the ideal love.
> Now when I unexpectedly get protestations of devotion from a client, I
>tell them that it is natural for them to feel that way, under the
>circumstances, and give them validation for their experience. I tell them
>it is alright, not to worry, but to simply enjoy the bliss of it, in the
>moment because feelings like all things, must pass, >in time.
Oh, nice.
> (pause to issue content warning: delete now or forever hold your peace,
>if you are not wanting to know more...)
>*
>8
>8
>8
>8
>88
>8
>8
>8
>8
>8
>8
>8
>8
>8
>8
>
> If they fall in love with me in session, when I am being Bitch Goddess,
>it might go like this:
>
> He: ( Tied up helplessly, is a submissive state, round eyed with wonder
>and adoration) "I love you!!"
LOL !
> Me: "Yes. Of course you do. You cannot help it." >long pause.
:)))
> As my response sinks into his suggestible consciousness, my acceptance
>deepens the feeling, but at the same time he usually is beginning to get a
>little frightened as the impliactions of my casual certainty, and utter
>lack of surprise at his reaction, and his helplessness in the face of love
>begin to play on his inner fears of being brainwashed and controlled.
>That's a biggie, for a Kundalite.. it is a reflection of our own
>helplessness in the path of K.
Ah-hah. I love it already. ;)
> Fears of falling on love with the wrong person and the chaos that could
>wreak on their happy home life, etc.. being prey to runaway emotions.. and
>up comes the resistance to sharpen the intensity of the moment.
Yes, just like K.
>I watch him
>change as the information sinks in and the fear comes up. Neato.
> I watch the shadows of blockages popping into visibility within him, as
>the expression in his eyes changes. Good fun. :)
Ooooh, ye be a bad lass, ye !
> When intuition tells me he is at the balance point where love and fear
>have equalized into a suspension of confusion, and a deeper layer of
>suggestibility and helplessness I laugh at him, with a precise hint of
>scorn at his obvious fear.
Ooooh ! :D
> With ironic amusement and acceptance I tell him "Don't worry, the effect
>is temporary. It will wear off." He goes into a different kind of free
>fall, coz usually professing love to a woman is fraught with fear of not
>meeting her expectations.. and all kinds of invisible promises to be kept..
>and my response breaks that pattern up into tiny bits that blow away. I
>accept it but have no expectations.
Nice. I could really learn something from this.
> Seeing my side snaps them back to real-space for a second, out of the
>roleplay but not out of empathy: he goes into the witness part of my
>perceptions. A responsible Dominant never forgets for a moment that what
>happens in the playroom is not reality... that all beings are truly equal.
:)))
> All the fears lift in awareness of their own power. They remember that
>they have hired me to give them this experience and they are having a
>wonderful time playing. I have given them back their free will for a
>second, so they can choose to release this fear which by it's nature I
>cannot release without their consent.
> Before their enjoyment can be dampened by this remembering I'll go
>straight back into the roleplay. Perhaps by demonstrating my "ownership"
>and their physical helplessness by raking my nails lightly down their
>chest. The shock of it makes them gasp, brings them back into the moment,
>into the body and distracts them to attachment to the fears, so they can be
>released.
:)
>They experience an
>emotional transition that happens too quickly for them to fully assimilate
>it.. too fast for the ego to keep up with.
Yes.
> The game is about power. They give me power over them. I am not
>interested in power for it's own sake, I am interested in empowering other
>people. The game, to me, is about tricking people out of their limiting
>beliefs, and fears.
> It takes a lot longer to learn the particular form of surrender to
>Goddess will thru "active listening" with complete empathy with the sub,
>and witness detachment guiding, not to mention gaining self-confidence!!...
I can believe that.
> That is the Zen of what I call Fetish Tantra, or BDSM Shamanism. Thru
>bondage they discover freedom. By surrendering to helplessness they
>discover their power. By the shock of pain they are made more aware of the
>power and joy in the breath of life.
And they come to it willingly. Interesting.
> Tuning into the woman and the place as I was watching, I got a lot of
>information about the various types of entities, hungry ghosts and whatnot
>she has been attracting with her activities, in her ignorance of what is
>happening to her. So, I ate them. :)
Nice work. :)
>>And someone else accused me of being a K
>>impostor yesterday.
> Yes. Do not be concerned. Your light looks bright, >to me.
Thank you so much, Mystress. I know it is.
Small maybe, but a brook is still running
water and may upon approaching the ocean turn into a river. Even the Amazon has a source.
I know the art of surrender as my K was born on the
battlefield. I think that's why K is kind to me.
I prostrate completely before it, I know nothing but it.
>>Oooooooh, I am so envious now !!! Why can*t I do that ???
> Why can't you? Maybe not as a Domina, but do what you love and follow
>your bliss, Goddess will handle the rest. Creativity and faith. I am sure
>you have a talent you could turn to abundance, if you put your mind to it.
Thank you again, Mystress.
I don't think I'm cut out for Domina hood, or maybe...
;)
but I got the idea of doing everything for others
these days without expecting anything back.
I do the student reality for my supervisor as he
is unsure of his own capabilities as a leader and
supervisor.
I do the daughter reality for my mother as she sorely
needs someone to love.
I do the karma echo of complete trust and devotion
for a friend of
mine as he suffers from a past life and needs someone
to be completely trustful of him.
I try to empty myself and let Goddess in all the time.
I will symbolically
march into 7 feet of water, singing all the
while and explode hand grenades on my helmet for some
ppl just to reassure them of love.
Some ppl call it fascism, I call it surrender.
Thank you again, Mystress.
With love,
Amanda.
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