To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/07/01 01:15
Subject: [K-list] Hard Core Kundalini
From: Colette T
On 1999/07/01 01:15, Colette T posted thus to the K-list:
Hello everyone. I enjoyed reading El's post.
For me I've been constantly in pain since 1979. I guess to cope, I left my body.
I ascended. Maybe that was the aim. This wasn't intentional. I think transcending
daily though meditation showed me I still exist independent of my 'body'. I know
I had to shove my body self to the background and 'me' forward to survive. I have
taken barely any painkillers. Practically no medication at all really.
I think maybe the K was focused up one side, as the pain was mainly on that side.
This is the side they say relates to the masculine .. and I know I am learning
now to balance my male within. To do this means facing wounds incurred from male
family members. Little girls don't like being treated as sex objects by those
they trust and look up to. I guess I spurned part of myself even hating 'her'
because of stuff. But you know really it wasn't so bad compared to what I hear
many others have endured. I guess I was just overly sensitive.
Now that I think of it I think I had soem K stuff going on before I learnt to
meditate. This points to past life commitments to the One. Those male figures who
betrayed my trust through their projections are now best friends, but you know if
you have abandoned part of yourself then you are now your own worst enemy. I
think that's what I am now preparing to go back an reclaim. This her I've hidden
as unworthy.
These days really I feel I've reached a turning point where I am going back
descending now and making sure to do it with Joy. There was a tricky stage a
little while ago when I felt I could have gone mad. I had just had my mind blown
I guess .. by Nothingness. Never before had I known what I was heading for. It
was quite nice really - but little mind wishing to maintain link with lower body
can play freak out after, while seeking localisation.
I had my dear friend who said .. keep coming back to the Heart. And so
remembering someone loves me unconditionally, I was able to, .. I think .. place
a localisation of this vastness where It wishes to ride - within the Heart (the
Palace of Oneness - overflowing Love).
And now I laugh a lot! Even smile a lot! And look healthier etc. Now it's time
for me to enjoy Infinity dancing in my body. My Blessed Body. I have spurned it
for so long blaming it for this pain, yet my emotional repressions brought so
much upon me. I know. Can't hide from yourself.
I can't pretend to know what the Higher Self is all about - it's now surrender
unto Mystery. Before now I know I was seeking seeking - who am I? Who Am I? And
now I am still and know, there is no answer to that except ..
I Am Mystery,
therein lies the union of the two,
Love,
Colette
Dear El I don't think the Union of the Heart can be known and developed without
Mother Kundalini.
It seems to be severing attachment to the body in favour of the Spirit - turning
from duality to Unity, then living them both - in Harmony.
May the teachers be a plenty to help support us in this Holy endeavour.
*Bliss Kiss* to All!
~~<~ATnospam)
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