To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/06/24 13:25
Subject: [K-list] K and gender, et al
From: Mrstoast
On 1999/06/24 13:25, Mrstoast posted thus to the K-list:
Hi Folks,
I'm new to the list, and joined because I suspect I may have had a K
experience shortly after receiving my Reiki II. About 2 months after my
Reiki II, I experienced 10 days of life-altering sexual arousal. Prior to
this, I had often been told that my root and second chakras were blocked, or
at least undernourished. This is not to say I have led an asexual life. I
have a wonderful husband and 2 kids, and what I thought at the time to be a
healthy sex life. Well, those 10 days changed my ideas about a healthy sex
life, and have left quite a lasting effect on me!
During that time, I lost 7 lbs, became dehydrated, had difficulty remembering
to eat, to attend to my kids, forgot about laundry, groceries, my business.
I slept half what I normally do, with the energy awakening me several times
thru-out the night. I became obsessed w/feeding this energy in any way
possible, short of chasing my neighbors and calling 900 #s! LOL!
And when the energy, best described as a ball of energy in my second chakra,
not unlike some of my early drug experiences, finally subsided, I was greatly
relieved, exhausted, but also grieved. Since then, I've found my perspective
of sex has changed greatly. I feel like I'm suddenly allowed to own my own
sexuality, to discover it all over, such as it's fluid nature is.
As for the discussion concerning gender, this androgyny is something I've
experienced all my life. I've "known" since childhood that I am a
heterosexual woman, but I've always attracted both men and women, been called
"Sir" as often as "Ma'am." Even when I was pregnant out to here! Long hair,
short hair, even in a dress. Early on it unsettled me, but now I just find
it mildly amusing, not a statement of my place in the world.
Even tho I've "known" myself to be heterosexual, I've found that I am more
attracted to the person than the body. Sometimes that's been a woman along
the way. This was never a disturbing development, but also I never felt
obliged to act on those attractions. I mean, along the way I was attracted
to married men, and didn't feel obliged to act on those attractions either.
(Not to imply the two are ethical equals!)
Anyway, my long-winded story here is to ask some questions to the group.
I've been reading Kundalini and The Chakras by G. Paulson. (Any thoughts out
there on that book?) From what I understand, it seems the blending of the
polarities - male & female - leads to an androgynous state of sorts. I can
accept that, but am enjoying exploring my sexuality too much right now to
find that terribly appealing. Some of what I've read there and other places
seems to indicate that sexuality in general becomes less of an issue as this
progresses. Does this mean the drive goes down? Or does it transmute into a
higher form of physical intimacy? I'm not sure exactly what my question is,
but as you can tell by my current attachment to this issue, I'm afraid for
now to let go of what I've just finally gotten both hands on, so to speak!
LOL! I'm curious what is - if there is such a thing - a normal progression
on this front.
Also, I'm concerned that I would have been better served working to pull that
energy up my system, rather than reveling in the sexual high. Since that
time, I've had minor digestive disturbances, some mild lower back aches, but
also increased sensitivities and higher response. Reiki on my root & second
chakras has certainly helped dissipate some disturbances. Any suggestions
are most welcome!
Thanks for wading thru this far!
Melissa
DISCLAIMER!
Home | Archive Index | Search the archives | Subscribe
K. List FAQ | Kundalini FAQs | Signs and Symptoms | Awakening Experiences | K. list Polls | Member Essays | Meditations | List Topics | Art Gallery | Cybrary | Sitemap | Email the moderators.
symbol.