To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/06/21 13:06
Subject: [K-list] gender changes and K...forwarded...hope it makes it th
From: Stephanie Phillips
On 1999/06/21 13:06, Stephanie Phillips posted thus to the K-list:
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From: "Stephanie Phillips" <stephpATnospamflash.net>
To: <owner-kundaliniATnospamList-Server.net>
Subject: genderless body images
Date: Mon, 21 Jun 1999 02:47:47 -0500
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Hi list!
Okay, this one is also one that is a question right up my alley. For the
past two years or more I have been incorporating different male aspects to
my already confusing K-experience. I'll be brief and to the point here, but
if you want to ask me more particulars, I would appreciate that through my
e-mail address at StephpATnospamflash.net.
I am a 31 year old mother of two. I guess it was time to explore my male
side. My consciousness would shift into a much more linear-causal way of
thinking, which was much more direct and to the point than my old cyclical
symbolic thinking patterns I had adapted as a female. My facial
expressions changed. My voice. My gait. My physical appearance when
through a radical confusion. My little 7 year old daughter told me that I
had football shoulders. I was literally changing in just about every
conceivable way...and some not so conceivable ones. These changes were
seemingly solid, but often transient. I could look like a man....pecks and
all but if the energy changed again just so, I could be ultra female in no
time flat.
Don't think this went unnoticed with friends and family. My dad told me
that he had seen me 2 minutes ago across the room and he could have sworn
it was a big athletic man.....but my dad looked again, and it was "me the
man." A few minutes later I was a girl again and my dad confided in me
that he thought he must be going crazy due to what he had just seen. If I
hadn't seen many other independent groups of witnesses tell me the same
thing, maybe I would have been suprised. I just said, "dad, it's just a
spiritual change I'm going through. I'm sure I won't have to look like a
greenbay packer for the rest of my life...." So, I know more what it
feels like on both sides than I am going to go into here, but what I hate
the most is the genderless state, There is a state where you are beyond
gender, and gender has no relevance to you. That is higher up. But before
you reach that, I spend a lot of time in "neither / nor " "boy or girl." I
know I needed to assimilate a lot of lessons from the state of being gender
neutral, but it is hard for me. My friends also feel more comfortable when
I am more one gender than the other. I have too many experiences to record
here, but the journey has been a magical one. It is a process of
continually uncovering.
I hope this made a bit of sense to someone out there. I might add that I
never consciously went about deciding to integrate my male psyche. I never
expected my looks to be able to change so much....and that's just the
surface stuff. Wow.
Good Luck!
Peace be with you,
Stephanie
-----Original Message-----
From: owner-kundaliniATnospamList-Server.net
[mailto:owner-kundaliniATnospamList-Server.net] On Behalf Of Fran Frankfort
Sent: Sunday, June 20, 1999 4:02 PM
To: kundaliniATnospamList-Server.net
Subject: Re: [K-list] To Jerry
Hello!
>K has also done a few strange things to my mind to the
>extent that I do no longer feel exclusively as a
>male or female. :) Hard to explain, only other K'sters
>could possibly know what that feels like.
>So I'm not the best person to ask about "normal"
>female sexuality. :)
>
I'm glad you mentioned this...another area where I thought..whats going on
with me...and then I read in a K book that one of the symptoms was..periodic
episodes of homosexuality or becoming more integrated in that way. I began
to realize that my view of females..myself included ..was skewed by my
upbringing and cultural ideas..this caused me to try to look at
women..myself included..in a more loving accepting way...I was so male
oriented..that I tended to dismiss myself and other womens views over men...
I was really upset with myself over this...so I really worked on looking at
women more lovingly and tried to see them and myself as men might..I thought
ok if I were a man what would make me want to be around this person or make
me love this person/woman..so I have been working on it....although I
realized that I am heterosexual..and will probably stay that way, I also
have a new view and appreciation that causes me to look I think at the
induvidual as a unique person rather than as a gender..its hard to
explain...but I know what you mean when you said the above..thanks for
letting me ramble today you guys!!
LOve
Fran
"The best and most beautiful things in the world can not be seen or even
touched. They must be felt with the heart."
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