To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/05/21 07:35
Subject: Re: [K-list] Re: Shamanism and ego-death part 1
From: Kimberly McDaniel
On 1999/05/21 07:35, Kimberly McDaniel posted thus to the K-list:
>Made me giggle.. are those not pointy kitty cat ears and kitty cat eyes
>and sharp claws and big white teeth all the better for devouring steak
>with.. and a furry belly full of red meat.. is that not your buddy Jaguar
>on your staff? Who else would it be? :)
LOL...I thought it was him too when the staff first returned to me, but he
says it isn't! Says it might be feline, but not him. (He's a black jag).
His evidence is that my uncle colored Thunder black, and if the mammal would
have been black, he would have colored it too. He also says I'll know when
the time comes. I'm kinda wondering if he's playing a game with me...I
thought for once I found a guide without the trickster sense of humor...oh
well...the search continues. I just hope that I didn't get that strange
sense of humor from HIM...I can't shake it if I did. :)
> Interesting.. Thunder has a solar disk on his head, representing the sky
>energies of Spirit, and the Jaguar has a human smile and a round belly..
>the earthy appetites of body-instinct. Very kewl.
>Depends on the Paradigms.. I would say, yes.. perhaps our dear Rabbi
>would, as well.. he wrote: An angel of course is an internal >Principle.>
> So, next time someone calls you Satan, you can tell them that you are a
>manifestation of an internal principle, and see what they do.. "Demon"
>comes from the latin word Daemon, which means "inner self".
I should've looked that up...I'm a Latin-crazy person, just been neglecting
it taking other, more serious matters in hand for a while.
> That's odd because according to Christians suicide is a mortal sin
>that
>would land them in Hell, anyhow. I suspect you can relate to the sense of
>humor in me that finds that very funny..
ROTFLMAO...I didn't even think of it like that at the time, though, I had a
friend who had attempted 5 five times and each time guides came to her and
told her she couldn't die yet.
> I didn't
>truly understand then either, but I was gifted with the words and the
>knowledge of what was going on in their hearts to help them.
LOL!! Story of my life..
> Shaktipat Master..:) When you use empathy to tune into their needs,
>you unify with them.. so there is only One, and it's both of you.. poof,
>wake up little Serpents.. especially if they come to you, asking for help..
>receptive to you...
>Yeh, fear of madness.. it has never been too bad for me, probably coz I
>got into self-hypnosis so young.. age 12.. so ..
My friends used to ask me if I was afraid of going mad...I told them I had
nothing to fear, I was already mad. :)
> I don't hang around Wiccans so much anymore.. it seems a lot of folks
>are drawn to Wicca seeking personal power.. ego-power.
I don't trust them either, and to tell you the truth, if I would've known, I
probably wouldn't have talked to her that much. Kind of born-in avoidance
of them.
>They want to learn
>some magic so they can get their own way more often.. and a path that
>abandons free will in favor of devotion and obedience is >incomprehensible
>to them... and the energy of the ego is insignificant compared to >Spirit
>manifest.
I had a fight with another Wiccan over my choice not to teach him...I was
warned of him by six guides (a record as only two really watch day-to-day
crap) and didn't want to bother. I knew he was in for the quick fix and
didn't have the time nor energy to invest at that time. He used to come to
me saying that my guides were demons, that I should tell them firmly to go
away and they had to. Finally he stooped to psi-battles and after a couple
of weeks I went back out to him and ended the fight (seeing my caravan isn't
fun if they're all pissed). He was telling me to leave, but I stayed a
while longer and left at my will, leaving a note to him saying, "tell them
firmly to go away and they have to go". Hence a bad reputation from ending
something that had to be stopped.
So, jealousy tells them I must be cheating, or something.. When
>they feel my Shakti charged aura picking at their Karma they resist >it and
>start to make stories of scary badwitch psychic vampire Angelique..
I got the psi-vamp shit put on me, but the truth was the two sucking off me
were trying to make it look like I was the bad person. A few months later
the guy comes to me and asks why bad things are happening (cars blowing up,
lost jobs, etc). I told him that Spirit payback's a bitch. He still hasn't
learned, but has learned not to mess with me.
I got
>tired of folks bitching about me, and quietly abandoned the Pagan
>community.. looked for silver linings and decided to focus my energies on
>my own Tribe.. but now those who were not bitching are offering to fight
>for my presence and asking for my return, and I am going "OK, Goddess, now
what??"
You go back, and ignore the loonies with ego problems. :) And if they
decide to change their minds, accept them and let go.
> (And
>that particular person is telling people I have multiple personalities,
but
>somehow that's funny to me.)
The truth makes you laugh...:)
Now that was WRONG! But I love it. :)
>ROTFLMAO!! Actually, I have learned to send up a pink love bubble with
>"Jesus loves you" written on it, and the negative Christian >projections
>all
>follow it up... :)
Hmmm...interesting...perhaps it could come in handy when my overly religious
father-in-law demands we go to church with him?
>My first thought was Oroborus serpents are usually drawn striped black
>and red.. that made me laugh.. my second thought was after I saw the colors
>of the beings on your staff. Are you sure the Jaguar is black?? Or is it
>cougar-colored..?
Can I give you the trickster's explaination of this? Seems he wants to
answer you He is both masculine and feminine and manifests two different
ways, but is one spirit. In the black jag form, he is masculine, balancing
himself against the feminine energy he works with. In the yellow-spotted
version, he is a she and uses it to balance the masculine energy. How he
manifests within me is governed by what is needed, and now I need the black
jag...perhaps in the past when my uncle saw him to carve the staff he was
working with the masculine energy and manifested as the lighter color. He
was using the energy to help fill the energetic void of not having a person
in the father role and was helping my real father to come bring me calming
and comforting dreams in the midst of the abuse I have dealt with. That's
why I never saw him in the yellow form.
Be careful tho coz when their unconscious sees
>that you see it, sometimes it makes the ego of the person fall in love with
>you immediately.
I didn't know it was opposite gender-wise...but the falling in love may be a
good thing, because it's the only thing known to make people put up with me
for extended periods of time. :)
>Around here, a lot of people come up to me and swear that they know me
from
>somewhere.
:) Goddess takes a form we can love.. since you are "not", you become
what they need to see. A reflection of who they are. It happens anyways,
but most folks project their own ego-individuality strongly enough not to
be mistaken... when that's gone.. all people see is reflections of their
own memories.
>Laughter is the nature of
>Spirit, and spirit doesn't judge between laughing at creation, or
>destruction.
It's a laughter of acceptance, knowing that both exist and must to keep the
world going, and at the same time a little voice is telling you THIS IS NOT
FUNNY!!!! YOU NEED TO BE PUT ON MEDICATION!!!! And I just laugh harder at
the suggestion because my mom had me put on valium at one point and I lived
out in spirit. :)
>I've often wondered if there is money to be made, as a professional
>ghost buster.. ;)
LOL...I've thought about that...but I'd never get the TV exposure necessary
to advertise because they like to show the ones who are wrong about at least
of what they say. :)
> Sure, why not? Wiccans and some witches make a big issue of trading
>money for spiritual teachings, but Shamen don't.. a Shaman is an artist who
>lives by her talent. Psychic abilities are usually sold as "entertainment",
>anyhow, to be legal... I do my taxes as a actor and performance artist.
I can't see this town supporting two psychics...the only way would be to
undercut her severely, and that would be wrong, so until I get out of this
wonderful town ;) that experiment would have to wait.
>Hey, sister, welcome to the Game.. :) That's all this one trick pony
>show has been doing, for years, now.. folks think I'm so wise.. I know
>nothing, I'm just willing to be scribe for other folks guidance.. tell them
>what they need to hear, to surrender their fear... just for the pleasure of
>watching the flowers growing.
You love gardening, don't you? You just change soils for variety. :)
> I used to have a sig file that said the script was courtesy of the
>infinity of monkeys who wrote Hamlet, and I'd thank them when I accept my
>Oscar.. an obscure joke about infinite probabilities, and chaos.. the
>monkeys wrote "All the world's a stage and we are players.."
It's so true though...like we're a puppet show for someone else's amusement.
>
continued in part 2
Kimberly
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