To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/05/13 07:45
Subject: [K-list] Ramana Maharshi
From: Harsha (Dr. Harsh K. Luthar)

Selected portions..........Harsha

by G. V. Subbaramayya

Immediately after lunch, I left the Ashrama even without taking leave of Sri
Bhagavan. I came and went incognito, as an utter stranger.

After nearly three years, I again visited the Ashrama in the spring of 1936,
this time with a note of introduction. Sri Bhagavan, even before going
through it, gave me a knowing nod and gracious smile and said, "Why the
introduction ? You have come before; you are not new."
......................

Some years ago I had been initiated into two mantras and was enjoined to
repeat them a minimum number of times every day. I had been doing it
punctiliously, but now after entering the Ashrama, I had no mind to the
mantras or do any kind of formal worship. After a few days I was seized with
the fear of incurring sin by failing to observe the instructions on my
initiation. So I put it to Sri Bhagavan himself, making a clean breast of my
default. Sri Bhagavan smiled and said, "Just because you have done so much
of japa, its merit has brought you here. Why should you now fear while
enjoying the fruit of the japa ?"

I had also at this time a more serious trouble. I had been practising breath
control ( pranayama ) as taught by Swami Ramtirtha in his works. There came
a stage when I felt a terrible sensation as though my head would crack and
break into pieces. Then I stopped doing it, but every day the sensation was
recurring at the time of practice and the fear was growing that disaster was
imminent. So, at dead of night, when Bhagavan was alone, I approached him
with my tale. He said laughing, "What! Again you are seized with fear! These
are the usual experiences of people who do yogic exercises without the
immediate guidance of a Guru, but having come to me, why should you fear ?"
Then Sri Bhagavan added in an undertone: "Next time you get that sensation,
you think of me and you will be all right." From that moment to this I have
never felt it again.

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