To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/04/30 13:03
Subject: [K-list] Re:...(domchi) mucho rambling enclosed
From: Rik Wallace
On 1999/04/30 13:03, Rik Wallace posted thus to the K-list:
--- Domagoj Klepac <Domagoj.KlepacATnospampublic.srce.hr> wrote:
> Well, influence is one thing, reaction second, and shit the
> third. Shit makes possible for other's to influence you and
> trigger reactions which are actually not yours, but shit's.
>
> When there is no shit, you are the one who chooses how to
> react, depending on other's reactions. Others don't influence
> your reactions, you influence reactions.
>
> I don't see any paradox there. :)
Maybe that is why I pointed one out. ;) ... because
you seem to like analyzing differences, laying them out
side-by-side as #1, #2, #3... and viewing that as Oneness.
To some, who prefer to see things as *the same*, you
present a paradox... different things that are somehow one.
D> > things over and over. What's next?".
>>
R> In my experience...the same 'thing' repeated over and
>> over. :) But I see how being open to new interpretations
>> could allow you to 'stay' and repeat the same thing over
>> and over without getting bored.
> Maybe, but then that thing is HUGE. It takes piles of time
> until another cycle. :) Interpretations and boredom are just
> a small part of that giant thing, which come at the beginning.
Oh, I see you may have interpreted the 'thing' repeated
over and over as 'life'... ok... so things are lives...
and in my experience 'things' die and reincarnate over
and over literally, by the 'moment'.....
And for some reason, each new moment looks suspiciously like
'someone' or something or some voice or words or scene or
emotion or thought or action or 'someone' I've met before
.... but they have a new haircut or are wearing glasses or
*I'm* wearing glasses or 'something' different... or maybe
they just remind me of someone I knew, maybe they remind me
of my mother or my father, or some babysitter or cartoon
character I saw long ago, but then thought I recognized
just the other day, or even today, or even just a moment
ago, and I feel like I *KNOW* this concept, even tho it
seems a little different, and maybe, hmmm, it's MORE than
a little different in important ways, like she would never
wear her hair that way and her face is too different for
makeup to have done that, so I guess she must not be who
I think it is... unless she's playing a joke on me, b/c
she does do that kind of thing, in fact *i know* that's
exactly the kind of person she is, because my ex was
the same way, always 'testing' me for some reason, and
often I never knew what she was up to or what she wanted
me to get out of this except maybe the hope that maybe
i could predict what's going on b/c it repeats or something
maybe... I'm not sure, b/c she IS a lot different from my
ex and always said how she values honesty, but she does like
to play jokes and that's kinda manipulative isn't it,
to let someone believe one thing and then tell them that
it's something else, but maybe she's into paradoxes and
she sees both as 'the truth' so when she says it's really
one thing, maybe she doesn't mean it's NOT the other thing,
and I only react to it b/c I haven't seen how they're
the same thing yet, so I keep moving around every time
someone says something or something happens that reminds me
of something different that I don't like, because I haven't
figured out how they're joined as one, even tho I think
they're opposites, like a paradox, and she was certainly
a paradox in a lot of ways and I couldn't figure out how
she could be so many 'opposite' things at once but maybe
they're not really opposites from her perspective or maybe
I only think they're opposites because I have a tough time
keeping them both in mind at the same time, so I keep going
through these loopy cycles from one extreme to the other,
'but maybe this, but maybe that', which i can see makes a
nice story with that ebb and flow kind of tension and i
could kinda see how they're joined as one that way, like
yin and yang, as two sides of me... but that's only in time,
and i like to think as if there is just one moment (at least
when the cycle returns :) and the 'memories' i see floating
about aren't from any 'past' but are just images that are
sitting on my desk now, and it's kinda funny how the photos
seem to be placed in some place on the desk where i
immediately know 'when' they happened, and sometimes I
mess with 'em and stick 'em in different places to see if
I notice a difference... which i guess is a joke i play
on myself so why make a fuss about when someone else does
it,
what's the difference, i don't know, i guess i seem to think
that if someone on the 'approved list', like me or God, does
it then it's ok (haha i'm being funny again, what a long
cycle that was)... so anyway just figure that she is God
and a part of the Greater Self and it's really no different
from me playing a joke on myself and thus confusing myself
into believing this but not that, and then that and not
this,
and while i see no reason to get mad at myself, i'd kinda
like to get even, and get back up to that 'karmic level'
thingy and slap myself around a bit, but i guess i'd know
i was coming :) and be prepared, but then again the last
time
i was on that trip i remember that the whole 'joke' was
just to 'mess around' with the pictures, so i probably
wouldn't even 'remember' planning my revenge, b/c I
didn't...
well until just now, doh!, so that's funny, i'm planning
something without even realizing that if i'm planning
i must be karmalizing, so here I am now in 'karmic mode',
slapping my face for being so stupid --- hey, it works!
The cycles and meta-cycles have merged. Finally.
> No, no... step /step/ n 1 the act of putting one foot in front
> of the other in order to move along... ;)
(referring to a discussion from several months ago...)
What about the angels who don't have feet?
(seriously)
-rik
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