To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/03/29 15:54
Subject: [K-list] gratitude
From: Holly N. Barrett, Ph.D.
On 1999/03/29 15:54, Holly N. Barrett, Ph.D. posted thus to the K-list:
I am hugely grateful to all those who thought of me and sent prayers
last week and even to those who didn't but who are here to support
these lists. The short version is that I found myself in a rage at God
for no good reason (hah!) and wondered for the first time in more than
an intellectual way about having lived before. At the same time I knew
that I, the rage, the knowing, the wondering and the object of the rage
were all God and that some weird eddy of energy was passing through my
body. It hurt like hell. I needed you to pray for me because I knew
for a time I would be too mad to pray for myself. I now have much more
compassion for those (like maybe some today in Kosovo) who shake their
fists at a God who lets people suffer. With your help, I was able to
surrender to all this as best I could. I am left softened and
transparent in quiet joy and I've thought all day of how T.S. Eliot
borrowed from Julian of Norwich...
Quick now, here, now, always --
A condition of complete simplicity
(costing not less than everything)
And all shall be well and
All manner of thing shall be well
When the tongues of flame are in-folded
Into the crowned knot of fire
And the fire and the rose are one.
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