To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/03/16 01:39
Subject: Re: [K-list] Experiences with Kundalini, from the beginning
From: Mystress Angelique Serpent
On 1999/03/16 01:39, Mystress Angelique Serpent posted thus to the K-list:
At 03:48 PM 3/13/99 , AzuureATnospamaol.com wrote:
>
>
>Hello again everyone,
>
>this post is going to be very long, as its a personal account of awakening
>(or whatever is happening to me). Of course, due to length, its not required
>reading.
LOL!! Interesting reading, tho..
> Im 24. It's embarassing, but my symptoms came after fairly reckless
>substance use. After being introduced to nitrous oxide by friends in
college,
>I didn't quite "laugh" like they did while on it, I was seeing things that
>were unexplainable and profound. I was fascinated by the "show" going on in
>the mind while under this anesthesia.
Psychedelic Shamanism.. many archaeologists believe this was the
first form of mysticism.. early humans eating mushrooms and creating
fabulous cave paintings of the insights they received.
An ancient method, but not a particularly safe one. Psychedelics are to
mysticism what electroshock therapy is to psychiatry..
No judgments, I have successfully used entheogens myself on many
occasions, to batter down the doorways of perception that seemed stuck
shut. I'm a stubborn creature..
Fortunately, I don't need to anymore. The place to go for info is
Timothy Leary's website.. :) www.deoxy.org
Please be careful.. people have died from nitrous oxide overdose.. even
in a clinical setting.
> I let my body do the movement it most wanted to do, and I had a
>vision of electric coiling light shooting through my spine and collecting in
>the top of my head. I tried to imitate this movement of energy into a dance
>step.
Classic awakening symptoms.. :)
> I was in New Orleans during Mardi Gras about a month ago, and I did MDMA
>(ecstacy) with marijuana.<..>
>While walking in this state, within about 10 feet, I could literally feel
>people's energies radiating from them.
There are a bunch of psychedelic shamans on the Internet, most notably
Terrence McKenna, who hail MDMA as some kind of spiritual wonder drug.
You'll find links at Leary's site. Never tried it, myself.
(disclaimer: comments in this post should not be construed as a
recommendation that anyone do anything illegal.)
> Back home after the trip, I was so excited about the new possibilities of
the
>human mind that I recklessly leaped headfirst into deeper mind states while
>under nitrous oxide. I started to find some of the most beautiful, but also
>scary mental states.
Travelling in your own unconscious, you find some scary stuff among
the angels.. here be Dragons..
> During one session, I "went under" and all of a sudden saw that this trip
>was going to be something special. The confusion of dull light play I
>usually saw during the begining was now in brilliance and comfortable order.
>My body welled up with blissful emotion. I saw a single butterfly flying
>inbetween the 2 coiling lights, and I felt the most warm peace in my entire
>life. This was a turning point for me to finally believe in a higher
power.
This is the holy trinity.. the butterfly is a Zen symbol, but I am
impulsed to suggest you read the book "Chaos", about chaos theory and order
in nature.
> I was too scared to share much of this with anyone, unless I attributed the
>"hallucinations" to drugs.
You can share your visions here.. :)
>
>My body was much more fierce about wanting control. <...> The more I gave
in, the more intense things got. I began spouting nonsense words, and was
clawing around fiercely like an animal.
>I was even growling.
Kriyas.. your body was releasing stuff..
> During more peaceful
>moments when I let my body take over, I began to move my hands in strange
>alien movements and gestures. My fingers kept making the "ok" sign and I
>wanted to sit cross-legged.
Lotsa pix of the buddha sitting like that. Left to itself, the body
naturally does the yoga moves.. mudras and asanas that will help the energy
to move smoothly.
> If I tried to do the limited mind clearing
>techniques I knew during this, then I could see another single eye looking
>back at me.
The third eye.. like I say.. the doors of perception opened.. you have
seen the symbol of this eye all of your life, on the back of the US dollar
bill.. on top of the pyramid..
> Things came to a break when a fellow student at college kept telling me that
>I was "leaking" energy all over the place.
Dynamite open the doors of perception, there's gonna be some shrapnel
wounds to deal with.. usually not hard to fix, unless your name is "Brian
Wilson".. (ex-beach-boy who took one ticket too far and couldn't come back..)
> That night I was able to feel the most inspired without mind-altering drugs
>that I've ever felt. Among many little experiences, the strangest was
>watching my hands without conscious control, play beautiful music at the
>piano without missing notes.
The energy is creative inspiration.. when it moves smoothly it does
effortless miracles.
> I've tried some techniques on my own to reclaim these experiences without
>drugs or outside help without any success. I usually feel neurotic and
>agitated a lot, and frustrated that I don't know how to let this energy flow
>and how to correctly do it. My body doesn't give me much instruction, other
>than wanting to flail and shake, and placing my hands on different chakra
>areas that induce even more shaking.
Can't go backwards.. that was then, this is now.
The process is ever-changing. The shaking is a good sign! It is karma
unkinking and blowing off.. Let it happen. Grounding will help with the
agitation, as will exercise, and most especially, creative artistic
activities. Draw, paint, dance, sing, doodle, make music or mud pies..
doesn't matter. Just do it. Creative energy of K. needs an outlet.
I have an embarrassment of riches when it comes to artistic abilities..
ADD+K folks tend to be like that. Lately I find I enjoy making candles.
They are a functional thing, ancient.. and there is something sensual and
satisfying about playing with warm wax.. peeling it off my hands and
returning it to the melting-pot.. My candles tend not to burn very well..
left unattended, small crookedness in the wicks means they tend to quickly
drip and melt themselves into a puddle, so I use stainless steel bowls for
candleholders. I don't mind.. I melt down the puddles and make new
candles.. the art is in the doing.
I can't hear any verbal guidance or
>instruction, and I'm wanting to feel this process as fully as I can because I
>have read about the dangers of holding it down.
Hearing the inner voice is best, but there are many ways to get
intuitive guidance.. from pendulums to tarot cards. Kinesiology,
self-hypnosis, sound and light machines.. or simply picking up a pencil and
letting your non dominant hand draw or write whatever it likes.
Practice. Spirits speaks to you all the time, you just need practice
listening.
> I suppose I'm frustrated because I'd like some kind of road map to make sure
>I'm doing everything possible to get the most benefit out of what I read is
>going to be a transcendental experience if I do everything correctly.
Well, a lot of folks feel that.
Ego wants explanations, maps and reasons as it bargains it's surrender.
Stop worrying. You are always being led to whatever you need, whether it is
apparent to you, or not. When the student is ready, the teacher appears..
poof! Goddess provides. Teacher in the moment might be a song on the radio,
a tree, an email.. a puff of smoke.. let yourself be led by synchronicity..
think of coincidences as co-incidents, and keep an eye out for them. They
are Spirit and you communicating, co-creating your reality.
A simple yes-no kinesiology of body-communication, is to simply
consider an idea and feel your body reaction. Warmth in heart is a yes,
sour rock in gut is a no.. or an old bit of guilt or regret.. as the karma
that blocks the energy of inspiration gets cleared, by the shaking and
whatnot, the info starts to come in easier.
Your attaining the goal, is never in doubt. It will be as Goddess Wills.
Goddess Wills it, or She's not have led you as She has, thus far.. the joy
is in the journey.
Your entheogen experiments were the ticket that made you a tourist to
some far away places.. so you could know that they really exist, and be
motivated to clear up the stuff here and now so you can go live there.
You got a "sneak preview" of some of the places along the path of
enlightenment. Like those Aviation schools that will take you up in a small
plane for 10 minutes and let you handle the controls, in order to talk you
into taking the course for your pilots licence. Flying on borrowed wings..
now you must walk the journey to getting your own wings. You won't be
flying again till you have completed ground training.. LOL!! Getting
grounded!
> Is what
>I have to learn is even more surrender to the process? Or are there deep
>meditation or yoga exercises that will facilitate things along smoother?
>
>frustration, but love from my heart..
Your frustration comes from the belief that things are not as they
should be. Surrender those judgments, and realize that everything is
exactly as it needs to be, here and now. Go with the flow, stop judging
your progress. Be guided by love and synchronicity, and not by fear of
failure. You will be led to what you need, just as you were led to this
list. Welcome!
The grounding visualization for awakening Kundalini is at
http://www.domin8rex.com/serpent/spirit/ground.htm
Please visit this page when you have 20 minutes to relax
and do the meditation, as the page is "charged" with Shakti
and keyed to be released by your free will choice to visit the page.
Blessings, Mystress.
DISCLAIMER!
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