To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/03/10 20:19
Subject: [K-list] Re: Apology for my remarks
From: molecularbreeze

-----Original Message-----
From: Llewellyn <ljonesATnospamzlink.net>
To: molecularbreeze <molecularbreezeATnospamsprynet.com>
Cc: Klist <KundaliniATnospamList-Server.net>
Date: Wednesday, March 10, 1999 7:40 PM
Subject: Apology for my remarks

Dear Llewellyn,

Thanks.

>Well, to me your reaction was natural and not that bad - to me it is an
>issue of balance, to achieve balance it is often necessary to tip in the
>opposite direction for awhile -
> your statement of chew it up and spit it
>out - to me was not the same as spit at someone, the later being rude the
>former just a strong statement that you were not buying any crap from
anyone
>and would defend yourself. But again people hear what they want to hear
and
>pick out the parts of posts that seem significant to them - we are all
>imperfect filters - which is why communication can be so difficult at
times.

I have seen people become insensed on here before and I didn't think what I
said was that bad either, until Angelique's response. When she said "not on
this list" regarding what I said, I felt ashamed as if I must have been
awful. Unfortunately, I carry shame around with me and work hard to gain
approval from others. It is recent that I am aware of this. It is also
recent that I am learning how to assertive. So I take your positive
feedback and flip over my view of myself to where I have decided, for the
moment, that I am not that bad, and if I get kicked off this list for what I
said, so be it. It was hard to say that. Felt very uncomfortable.

>I believe one should maintain
>one's personal, subjective, perspective whether it is anger, annoyance etc.
>But yes it is better to just recognize that, and say wow this is really
>making me annoyed. After registering that feeling tnen say, hmm what is up
>with this. I think that all emotions are okay - anger is good etc.. How
we
>deal with that emotion is the question. And perhaps expressing those
>emotions in a reasonable manner is part of the growth process - perhaps
>along the lines of being assertive, without aggressive or insulting.

What you said above is what I am striving for. (I have a point of view
dammit). How to have convictions and maintain them, maybe express them and
stand up for them. I need practice. If I express it inappropriately and
someone says "Boo!" I'm trying not to beat myself or shrink away embarassed.

>You also were slapped for not snipping the post that you were commenting
>about (I believe) :).

Yes and I'm beginning to wonder if I'm sending out "pick on me" messages or
if I just slip into that comfortable victim chair when its convenient.

I am in a woman's assertive training class which is supplemental training to
what I get on this list.

Llewellyn, you're a good instructor...really.

Connie

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