To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/03/09 18:41
Subject: Re: [K-list] Abusive Relationships
From: FRANK JOHNSON
On 1999/03/09 18:41, FRANK JOHNSON posted thus to the K-list:
Funny, I thought I was joining this list last month in order to glean some insight into my K - awakening. What I have found is that I have learned to use my delete key an incredible amount. I need support that can be more focused and grounded than this immature exchange that I keep finding in my mailbox.
Can we please move on and ignore the fact that someone is trying very hard to incite the people on list and seems to be having phenominal success at it too.
Helen
>-----Original Message-----
>From: FRANK JOHNSON <frank.johnson3ATnospamworldnet.att.net>
>To: Charles Vermont <FunchoiceATnospambtinternet.com>; kundalini list <kundaliniATnospamList-Server.net>
>Date: Monday, March 08, 1999 8:50 PM
>Subject: Re: [K-list] Abusive Relationships
>
>Charles and others:
>
>Hi!
>
>I agree with you, Charles, in that I believe we tend to (unconsciously) recreate, as well as co-create, situations in our lives in order to finally heal their wounding. Sometimes this seems to take many, many tries until we finally "get" it and are able to learn from it and move beyond it. It doesn't mean we ask for it and certainly we don't want it, but we keep climbing back into the same saddle until we learn all that we must from it.
>
>Helen
>
>>-----Original Message-----
>>From: Charles Vermont <FunchoiceATnospambtinternet.com>
>>To: kundalini list <kundaliniATnospamList-Server.net>
>>Date: Monday, March 08, 1999 5:34 PM
>>Subject: [K-list] Abusive Relationships
>>
>>Dear Miri, Kath, Connie, et al,
>>
>>Perhaps a story will help you to at least appreciate, if not accept, my point of view. I used to work in an office where the boss (let's call him Tom) was often angry and aggressive towards me. In fact the office manager once took me out for lunch and said he couldn't work out whether I was a saint or a fool to put up with this behaviour.
>>
>>One day Tom called me into his office. "You know what your problem is?" he said. "You're selfish. If you had a wife you wouldn't be so selfish. If you don't do your job properly then I'll have to sack people in this office and you'll be responsible for their children and partners having no food on the table. You ought to show you're grateful for your job by doing exactly what I tell you to do. Get your head down, work hard, don't expect a pay rise for 3 years."
>>
>>I sat there and took it as usual. But something sparked in my head. A few days later I worked out what it was. Tom had almost repeated word for word some of the things my father used to say to me. So, I'm afraid, I had faithfully recreated the my relationship with my father with my boss. I found it unpleasant and it made me mad, but the point was that I was comfortable with that sort of relationship - I knew how it worked. Once I'd realised this it was only a matter of months before I left the company for another job.
>>
>>I believe it is never the sole fault of either the abuser or the abused. We are all responsible in my view for the relationships we create.... but I prepared to be educated on this one.
>>
>>Charles Vermont
>>
>
>
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