To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/03/06 08:06
Subject: Re: [K-list] Paralysis
From: Catherine Berger
On 1999/03/06 08:06, Catherine Berger posted thus to the K-list:
Connie,
I don't know how old you are, but do you remember Patti Hearst?
As I recall, (decades ago) the young heiress of a publishing fortune
was kidnapped from her college dorm and held for months on end. She
was repeatedly raped and held in a closet, for days on end blindfolded
and tied. Eventually, Patti appeared in public, with the gang that
kidnapped her, wielding a machine gun and taking part in a bank
robbery. (I don't remember if it was later determined whether that
gun was really loaded.) When captured, Patti's closed fist could be
seen high in the air as a symbol of solidarity with the kidnappers.
I remember learning, albeit through the media, that the process of
humiliation and torture that Patti went through caused her to transfer
her will to her captors, and become so emotionally dependent upon them
that she was in-effect brainwashed.
The last I heard, Patti is married to the bodyguard that was assigned
to her after her rescue. She could not maintain her relationship with
her finance (from before she was kidnapped).
Connie, I know this is an extreme example, but does any of this shed
some light on what you're feeling? Physical and emotional abusers are
hard to break from because they have stolen your intellectual and
emotional power. In cases like Patti Hearst, it was so extreme that a
great deal of psychological help was needed to help her undo the
brainwashing.
I do not profess to be the all-knowing expert on this. But, I have
spent a great deal of time in a family of emotionally cruel and
abusive people. My ex-husband was this way also. Because I have seen
certain family members incarcerated in mental hospitals, I have always
shunned and distrusted psychiatrists. So I had to free myself from
the clutches of these abusive people, without any professional help.
I know it's hard Connie; I have had to break my own heart - more than
once - to free myself. Here is what I told myself every time I felt
awful: Every day gets you closer to a new place, where you will be
free! Don't go back.
Cathy
---molecularbreeze <molecularbreezeATnospamsprynet.com> wrote:
>
>
> As I face the truth that I cannot survive, spiritually, or
emotionally in
> an abusive relationship, breaking free from it feels like the
hardest thing
> I have ever had to do. I drag myself through the days, a shell of a
> person, with the excruciatingly painful sensation, behind my
breastbone.
> Feels like my vital innards are being cruelly gripped or sucked at by
> something, or maybe, trying to take me back, unless I let go. I am
trying.
(snipped)
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