To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/03/02 15:58
Subject: [K-list] Paralysis
From: Antoine Carre
On 1999/03/02 15:58, Antoine Carre posted thus to the K-list:
Hello,
It's nice to dip back in the waters of this list after a while away from it.
The force behind the paralysis in front of Beauty as been fascinathing me
for a while. And any coments will be appreciated.
Paralysis, generated from fear, self preservation, rapid eye movement dream
state in deep sleep, or else, seems to be a process that often occurs as two
sides of the awake consciousness want to merge. It is found related in many
forms of literatures, but in few is it related how to overcome this
"paralysis". Maybe is it because it's only from the center of the conflict
generated then that one can reunite is two sides explored into One. Maybe
it's better not to focus on the paralysis aspect of it, like in orgasm we
often forget the moment just before the plateau, where ones ego just does
not know how to let go of itself to explode, vanish, in the burning flow of
pleasure. This "orgasmic" plateau maybe painfull for some, why?
Kundalini certainly explore this aspect of paralysis. As the flow of K
breaks the first wall of our will, it's seems to take pleasure to eat, like
white ants, the wooden structure of our identity until there is nothing left
of it other than the Divine Will.
Like the orgasmic plateaus, i seek all razor edge aspect of my self that
paralyzes in front of the unknown it opens to. And i am always open to learn
how to overcome this paralysis, pealing the onion rings away.
Questions i ask myself:
- Why does one paralyze in front of what he finds out later to be Beauty or
Consciousness?
- To what is tied exactly this process of paralyzation when this state comes
from being awake?
- Is deep rapid eye movement in sleep and exploration of dreams then so
interesting because the body is already in a deep paralyzed state, so like a
fisher man we can catch fishes one at the time we can not in the awake
state?
- What is the use of the body paralyzing itself?
- What does append in deep rapid eye movement sleep that paralyze our body?
- How does one relate to that?
- How does one integrate that process in a "continuous" conscious flow?
I believe the answer lies in not asking the question but staying aware of
it. In the doing... Yet i ask it :)))
Personally, i remember younger the first times i would come face to face
with a deep form of Beauty or Presence. Touching that razor edge... would
dip me in pure physical trance, like dying, where even the lungs would want
to stop breathing, and the heart beating, as It kept coming, more and more,
stronger and stronger, until it stopped from fear of exploding or dying.
Self preservation mechanism, i though then.. Today i don't know anymore the
origin of that "self preservation" mechanism. Where does it come from, i ask
candidly?
Today it may append as for me finding out on how to let go on my attention
of driving my car, trusting that what "kept coming and coming" would drive
the car for my body. A bit like jumping in parachute, putting all the trust
in the parachute, so you can finally let go to gravity. Finding that point
of trust, is what i call often finding the sharp razor edge.
Each time ones as the chance to "jump" in this way into paradise on this
plane, from my experience, it seems that one jumps always from a deeper
perspective, and it always comes as a surprise, a new small me to open.
But once one as jumped with a parachute, the subconscious knows the
existence of the parachute, and jumping from the plane becomes as easy as
stepping down a single step of a stairway. The paralyzation or
immobilization in face of the new experience is replaced by routine. The
parachute changes into wings. Until deeper experience are to be offered to
the Self.
Here are some quotes taken from this wonderful list in relation to such
phenomena:
"This was repeated, and after time you were in the middle of a glass onion -
unable to do anything at all, unable to close your eyes. Rather horrid."
(Haakon)
"Professor Krishnamoorthy Aiyer speaks in his old age: (...)
Up to that point, the mind was the greatest thing that existed for me. Now I
discovered it did not exist! I was bewildered. I simply sat like a statue.
(...)
I don't know how long I remained like that, but when I returned to my
senses, I was terribly afraid of the man. "This is a dangerous man," I
thought. In spite of myself, I prostrated and got away from his company."
(From Harsha)
"If this is burning up karma should I devote more time or would I just
explode?!!! " (Kelvyn)
"You always had the same energy it is only that is has chosen to move
forward to another level inside you. Eventually you might even like the
shivers. I love the shivers now...got used to them." (Roberto)
Enjoy,
Antoine
--
Through the coming, going, and the balance of life
The essential nature which illumines existence is the adorable one
May all perceive through subtle intellect
the brilliance of enlightenment.
A translation of the Gayatri Mantra
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