To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/01/30 13:29
Subject: Re: Fw: [K-list] Caroline delurks
From: Cathy Berger
On 1999/01/30 13:29, Cathy Berger posted thus to the K-list:
You sound like a wise person, Freda. I've been there too, and I had to learn about suffering the hard way, the way it appears everyone learns this subject. I've been through physical and emotional violence over more than one life-time. I have learned well that I do not have to let myself be led to slaughter like a helpless sheep. I exercise my personal power to change my life. When a person is deep in a violent or abusive relationship they often cannot perceive the way out. There is shame, because they do not want others to know how badly they have been treated. So, the terrible secret remains between the abuser and the one who suffers. Self-esteem is so badly shaken that the victim of this abuse cannot imagine coping alone in the real world. The victim identifies with the abuser, and finds strength in that cause. This is a false alliance, and the difficulty in breaking that bond is similar to the reliance on the ego which is a false witness to the world, and yet seems to be our only outlet to life.. And so we suffer for it, not perceiving the way out, not believing enough in ourselves to have faith in our ability to live life.
As one who has peeked through the veil on more than occassion, I know there is a way out, and I am seeking the path. I tried ending my life, and that was not the way. Now I am trying to Live my life..
Cathy
----------
> Caroline,
> It sounds like you've had a rocky time of it.
>
> > It has been 5 months since i broke up (violently) with my ex-boyfriend
> > with several months of counselling and much reading to understand
> > domestic violence and rebuild my self esteem and confidence, finding >my
> self again.
>
> For me, it wasnt just enough to "not allow" I had to understand.
>
> I think the first 2 years after I made the decision to "not allow" were
> the hardest, and the most rewarding as well. Finding myself AND trusting
> what I found.. talk about a pedulum! - the roller coaster ride of a
> lifetime : )
>
> Welcome,
> freda
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