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To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/01/29 07:30
Subject: Re: [K-list] foggy mental breakdown
From: Kathy Bates

On 1999/01/29 07:30, Kathy Bates posted thus to the K-list:

Dear Alan,

My first impression of your predicament is that you are compassionate toward your girlfriend,
but IMO perhaps not loving...in that you need to learn how to let go lovingly and let her be
what she is being right now. Maybe she needs to live through her own "stuff" and perhaps, though
it is hard for you to watch, she has chosen this for her own growth.

Therapists, although helpful, can sometimes be too "boxed in" in their diagnoses, and you may
need to simply take your girlfriend's word for what she is needing. Give her that loving trust.
I hear you say that you wish to protect her, which is a noble motive, but is it a motive that
will actually HELP either of you? You sign off with unconditional love...think about whether you
are actually offering the same unconditional love to her. If you are trying to "make her change"
then the answer, IMO, is that you are not, you are placing the condition that she meet your requirements.

You may take this impression however you desire...but you might contemplate setting her free and
ask your own inner guide or spiritual voice inside for help.

Bright Blessings--Kath

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