Kundalini Gateway Email List Archives

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To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/01/27 14:32
Subject: [K-list] puberty redux
From: Holly N. Barrett, Ph.D.

On 1999/01/27 14:32, Holly N. Barrett, Ph.D. posted thus to the K-list:

We've probably been over this ground before but I'm noticing again how
much k-awakening sometimes reminds me of puberty -- hormone floods,
sudden intense sexuality, identity confusion, feeling misfit and
exposed, self-absorption, strange body sensations and last, but not
least, periodic rapture and utter joy in being alive. I remember now
Angelique writing about k-fire in adolescence. I notice, too, times
when it is very difficult to come all the way out to my periphery and
interact with other people, and remember in adolescence always blaming
this on others in a petulant orgy of feeling misunderstood. And some
of the fears are the same: needing passionately to separate and grow
but at the same time despairing of ever feeling connected again, to
others and even to oneself. I'm occasionally acutely aware of
experiencing this all as a woman, and become hypersensitive to what
seem like male points of view in the spirituality world that don't
relate to me in the least. And I'm painfully reminded that early
adolescence is when girls often lose their sense of value. In
transcendent moments, of course, gender and all the rest become
irrelevant. I watch all this unfold and try to ride the energy. Holly

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